A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:A couple weeks ago, me and a guy friend slept together. We met through a mutual friend but we've only known eachother a few months, it's not like we're really close or know eachother realy well.Well i was attracted to him, and he seemed into me, after a while we ended up sleeping together. Neither of us is looking for a relationship, I was fine with just being friends with benefits. But now he doesn't seem interested at all. One night recently we were hanging out, and I made some subtle moves, but he didn't send me the signals back. So I didn't think too much of it because I know guys aren't always in the mood either. But I tried again a few nights later and got the same results.Now I'm wondering, can a girl be "bad" at sex? I know that it takes two to tango, but really bad enough that you wouldn't want to sleep with them again? It's not like I just lay there... but I can't think of anything else that would have put him off.Any ideas?
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks everyone! I've decided to just let it go, and not talk to him about it. He seems to have kinda withdrawn from me, so I'll just cut my loses. It just makes me feel better that no one thinks it could have been my "performance."
But in response to your questions, DoubleM, the funny thing is that both answers were no. He asked me out for dinner and a movie AFTER we had already slept together. He paid for everything, but I felt like he was trying to make it clear that it wasnt a "date." We went out a few times after that, but now he hasn't asked me out just him and me in over a week.
He was the one that initiated the kissing, but I was the one that initiated the sex.
A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (31 March 2008):
 It is really unrealistic to think that you are "bad in bed" unless you simply laid there like a lump of coal. And if the friend was moaning or making any pleasure sounds at all, and climaxed, then the sexual activity was fine.
The most likely scenario is that he is a "conquest hound" who goes after a girl to get laid one time and moves on chasing the next conquest. But the answers to two questions might clear it up for you. 1. Did he ask you out on a date and was he being romantic? 2. Did he initiate the kissing and fondling and sex?
If the answer is yes to those questions, then he sounds like a hound and you are better off going on about your life and forget him. He got what he wanted, and he is the one who is messed up and immature. Just remember that not all men are that way, but a good many are.
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 March 2008): Not every guy wants a friend with benefits, he may have been looking for a girlfriend and you are not it. Now that he has had sex with you, he got what he wanted perhaps and now he has quickly lost interest in you. It happens all of the time with guys, having sex with them too early often ends up with him no longer wanting to be with you. It doesn't have anything to do with you being bad in bed, he just doesn't have the kind of emotional connection that he wants or he thinks that you are like a guy too, and don't have any emotional attachment to him, so why would he expect for you to want to be with him again and again, he is OK with a one off, so why wouldn't you be since you presented yourself as if you were a guy like him....so to speak.
If you aren't really close even though you have known each other for a few months, then you don't have much of a basis for a relationship. He just sounds like he does not want a friend with benefits relationship and he isn't giving you any signals because he doesn't want to lead you on.
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 March 2008): are either of us involved in a relationship?
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A
female
reader, brooke5426  +, writes (31 March 2008):
 It doesnt mean you were bad but dont believe the common attitude that all men want sex anywhere, with anyone at anytime. It doesnt mean you were bad in bed, maybe he just doesnt want to have sex with you because he doesnt want to mess up the friendship. I really think thats the most likely explanation.
Did you tell him you dont want a relationship? Cos it could be that he doesnt want to lead you on. But i really think hes just worried about what will happen and totally ruining your friendship, or maybe there is another girl he likes, or maybe he just genuinely wasnt in the mood.
Could be any one of a number of reasons, you wont know for definite until you ask him.
Brooke
x
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female
reader, thebethany  +, writes (31 March 2008):
this doesnt have to be about u being bad in bed, he may just be wierded out by the step in your relationship, the best thing i cans uggest is to ask him whats up, if he wont tell u the truth, he is not worth you time.
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