A
female
age
30-35,
*azzie1
writes:Confused, been with my boyfriend for 3yrs off and on and he's been tryin to get me to meet a girl to have a 3 sum.he said it's his fantasy and that I should try it cuz maybe I will like it. I've never experienced it before and from me hearing it so much from him I actually am planning to go to a swingers club to fullfill his fantasy. Is it stupid of me to even think of doing this being that he said that he would never want to cheat on me cuz I'm willing to be openminded.he say's that's why there is so much infidelity cuz people r close minded should I settle for this or believe that I could find a guy that is trustworthy.
View related questions:
infidelity, swinging Reply to this Question |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, mush  +, writes (1 January 2009):
why reject something off hand before trying b/c some feel it would complicate. At the end, its you who should take the decision on what to do. i feel that its not bad to swing for a while and relase all unspenct energies
A
female
reader, elisa_lee +, writes (31 December 2008):
 As you likely know, this is by no means an unusual thing for a man to want. The person above suggests that one shouldn't share, but that's just one way of feeling... not everyone is so possessive, some enjoy watching the person they love receive pleasure with someone else. So I would say don't take it to mean that he doesn't care enough about you. His desires are normal and natural. What's not normal or natural is for him to pressure you into a situation that makes you uncomfortable. He shouldn't threaten you with infidelity unless you comply (maybe your styles just don't match in that way). He shouldn't be fixated on the idea or demanding about it. You could be open minded about what you do with him, but not want that situation.. Anyway think about it.. be open to getting turned on by it (personally I like to be watched so it's awesome to me!) but if you're really NOT, well some people just really aren't into that. Don't let him pressure you into it, and stop if you don't like it. That could be kind of degrading, I think... only do it if you want to. and have safe sex!
...............................
A
female
reader, questionablegrl +, writes (31 December 2008):
 I am bisexual, and i've dated alot of guys who wanted me to kiss and have sex with girls infront of them. Thats a total turn off, it makes me feel as if the man doesn't love me, or care for me.
if he loved and cared for me, why would he want to share me?
Would you want your boyfriend having sex with another girl? or a guy? Exactly-i'm sure you don't.
Just b/c its HIS fantasy doesn't mean you don't have to make it come true! don't push yourself into doing something you are not sure of doing.
Tell him your concerns, and tell him you don't feel comfortable of ya'll doing that, and you feel as if he doesn't care for you, if he wants to share you with everyone. And if he gets mad...then you need to leave him, b/c it seems to me all he wants is this lil dream hes having!
But then agian, i know some swingers that are my friends, and they are married, and have a very healthy relationship. But i just find it weird...when you love someone, but allow them to have sex with other people- its just not right.
but i guess it depends on the person. plus think about all the dieases and STD's that are going around. Would you want to chance that, just so your boyfriend can "fulfill his fantasy"?
but if u feel like its not right, LISTEN TO YOUR HEAD! and leave him.
...............................
|
