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*lisa_lee agony aunt

*lisa_lee

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Is there any way I can keep the space I love and keep a guy interested?

Q.   I'm a 26 year old female, and I've never had a boyfriend. I've barely been on a date! I've had guys interested in me, but usually I'm never interested in them. There are only 2 guys that I regret dismissing before we really started anything, and now ...

A.   27 September 2010: Just find a guy who likes alone time, or "away time" as much as you do. A lot of guys like to be smothered more than they will admit or say, but there certainly are some who understand and feel mutually about the need for healthy space. If you find ... (read in full...)

How do I find a virgin?

Q.   I don't know how to describe this, exactly, but here goes: it took a long time for me to come to grips with the fact that I, as a man who was raised in such a manner that I could not raise my hand in violence to a woman under any circumstances, was ...

A.   18 January 2009: I'm sorry that your first sexual intercourse was not as you hoped for it to be. Given that, I can understand why you might feel like you still want what you expected, for two people to share the discovery of that intimacy together in the sort of ... (read in full...)

Can I become ill from no masturbation?

Q.   Is it atall possible for a man to get ill from no masturbation or sex for 40 days?...

A.   18 January 2009: No one (of either gender) will get ill from not masturbating for that long. But is there any good reason to abstain? It really seems like a shame. Unless there's a good reason (practical like an injury or a religious/spiritual abstinence). I hav... (read in full...)

What did he mean when he typed in "preteen" on a PC search engine?

Q.   Hello there - I used a friend's computer the other day and noticed on the search engine that he had time in "preteen". I love my friend to pieces, he is a lovely lovely chap - why would he type this in? There were no videos or anything downloaded ...

A.   8 January 2009: Google did not suggest "preteen" to me - I just checked and as I predicted, it would not. It's a problem. He shouldn't be indulging is curiosity but a lot of otherwise nice people do have the problem (and if they are truly nice and decent t... (read in full...)

Too many jokes... is he joking or being serious?

Q.   Is this his way of trying to be funny? He does have stories to tell.. Like getting his privates stuck in a zipper! Ouch! Or riding a bike with shorts (yeah small) on a chilly day. Lol. And these are things that he brought up on our first phone ...

A.   8 January 2009: Hey it sounds like this guy told too many funny stories *that involved his penis* in your first conversation. I mean, it's obvious he has a dick, and yeah dicks are funny but... I find it a bit rude. Depends on who you are though I guess. I am ... (read in full...)

Should I really saddle a kid with that legacy?

Q.   Well, I am currently caught up in a battle between my rational and biological elements. To put it simply, I never, ever, ever wanted a child and still don't, but there is some primal emotional need going on with me right now that says I do. I am ...

A.   8 January 2009: I know it's unrealistic and extreme but I believe children should only be brought into the world by people who want them completely and totally, are stable, healthy and secure. There are way too many people on earth. We are displacing nature's... (read in full...)

It's not what I think it should be

Q.   I've tried lots of stuff with masturbation (fingers, objects, talking dirty with my boyfriend etc.) but nothing seems to be screaming orgasm good. I've tried rubbing my clit, or where i think it is, but its never.... Hmm... What i think it should ...

A.   7 January 2009: Honey, your clit is the lovely little bit right at the top, tucked in the middle... take a look at it, it should be a sort of "bud" with very soft skin, sort of wrinkly, shape and size varies. I suggest you take a mirror and become familiar with how ... (read in full...)

How can lesbians KNOW they're lesbians? Do they know from an early age?

Q.   OK I have a question that I'm really unclear about. NOTE: I dont have anything against gays/lesbians OK so... I know a few people who are lesbians and I really want to know if people who are gay/lesbian, do you know it when you're small? ...

A.   4 January 2009: It varies. Some people know it, recognize it and accept it when they are very young. Others, more often from less accepting families or traditions, may suppress the feelings and not "realize" or acknowledge it until they are 30 or 40 or older! ... (read in full...)

I fancy my dermatologist... is she too old for me?

Q.   Okay this is an add on to a earlier question I have asked! Once again I am an almost 18 year old virgin who hasn't kissed a girl. My Dermatologist who is also my regular doctor is quite beautiful. I know she is divorced and she has children. Sh...

A.   3 January 2009: Sorry to say, you have little chance of dating her and to make any move would be quite wrong and might be embarrassing though she would likely handle it well. I had a similar feeling toward my doctor when I was 16. I will never forget my first pe... (read in full...)

Does watching lesbian porn means I'm lesbian? I've never been attracted to girls!

Q.   Dear ppl, Lately I've been thinking about my sexual orientation. I used to watch porn and I stopped because I hated it and I felt disgusted every time I do it. I watched lesbian porn and I felt sth during watching it but I HATED it afterwards and I...

A.   3 January 2009: Lots of people like watching gay porn and aren't gay. It's fine! And btw, that lesbian porn isn't really lesbian anyway. for the most part, it's commercially produced for straight men and doesn't turn me (a lesbian) on at all. But I disagree... (read in full...)

How can I confront my step brother about me and him needing to stop?

Q.   im am nerly 16 and ma step brother is 17 but when i was 10 he did sexual things to me and i thought i was ok...it stoped when i went to live with my mum which was wen i was 12 but now i know it was wrong but im with my dad alot and everytime im ...

A.   3 January 2009: Your stepbrother has a problem. You may already know this, but the problem is entirely his, not your fault. If he is using your feelings for him, just remember that he did this to your stepsister too and who knows who else. You do need to tell ... (read in full...)

How do I get more comfortable with making noise during sex?

Q.   Me and my boyfriend are settling down to having regular sex. It's getting more and more pleasurable and I now feel the need to call out/cry out a bit with the sensations. I'm very shy and self conscious though when it's so quiet at night. My ...

A.   3 January 2009: It will turn him on so much more to know you're enjoying it, 100x better in my opinion. You don't need to shout or scream (though I love not being able to help it.. that didn't happen til the right time) - just try making a little noise, like sighs ... (read in full...)

I'm 14 and really want a baby, I'm just nervous about the pregnancy part.

Q.   Hey, im 14 and my boyfriend is 15. We both are really ready for a baby and actually have been wanting one ever since summer of 2008. I know for fact i am ready for the taking care part of it, but not so sure about the pregnancy part. I love kids and ...

A.   2 January 2009: You won't be surprised by the responses you get. Don't have a baby now. It is not ever the right choice to have a baby before you finish high school and college. I know single moms trying to go to school w/ me.. yes some strong people can manage but ... (read in full...)

Exercising the hard way!

Q.   What would happen if I only eat one mango every day and nothing else and exercised 3 hours on my treadmill at 6.5 km per hour? I want to lose weight and I've tried doing it the healthy way but it never works!x...

A.   1 January 2009: You would lose weight, and either develop an eating disorder and/or end your mango fast with a binge because you will start to obsess about food due to your body/brain interaction. If you want to be obsessive there are way more interesting topics ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend calls me derogatory names during sex. What does this mean?

Q.   I am dating a wonderful, sweet, caring, thoughtful man and we are planning a future together. We have only been together for a few months. He absolutely adores me and I do him as well. We have an incredible sex life but one thing confuses me... ...

A.   31 December 2008: I also recall having this happen in a weird, disturbing way. No person wants to be having sex with their loving partner and suddenly unexpectedly called a little whore. Now, if it really gets him off and you expect it, would you be willing to do it? ... (read in full...)

Am I stupid to keep giving him money I don't have?

Q.   Hi, I am a 47 year old man who has just met a 25 year old man on a sex web site. The problem is I have just admitted to him that I am gay and no one else knows apart from him. He is also gay and a very understanding man. He is a student in another ...

A.   31 December 2008: I can't believe gay people would hurt and rip each other off like this but you know, it's true. You should never have to pay for friendship. I know it can be hard to talk about this stuff, especially maybe if you have kept it to yourself for so ... (read in full...)

Considering going to a swingers club for my husband... is it a stupid idea?

Q.   Confused, been with my boyfriend for 3yrs off and on and he's been tryin to get me to meet a girl to have a 3 sum.he said it's his fantasy and that I should try it cuz maybe I will like it. I've never experienced it before and from me hearing it so ...

A.   31 December 2008: As you likely know, this is by no means an unusual thing for a man to want. The person above suggests that one shouldn't share, but that's just one way of feeling... not everyone is so possessive, some enjoy watching the person they love receive ... (read in full...)

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