A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi Agony Aunts! :)My ex and I are both 24, she's 25 in November.My now ex-girlfriend of 2 years 5 months dumped me a week ago after a very unfortunate situation. I yelled at her whilst under immense stress, left her house, and didn't answer her calls. I am ashamed I treated her this way.We have had a lot of issues this year (she moved out this year with a questionable friend - this friend always tries to cause issues between us and makes my ex-gf feel she needs to choose sometimes)I have had issues with my studying this year which has delayed my course completion - for some reasons out of my control. I have also been in an emotional and physical rut.All of the pain, regret, and sadness this experience has put me through has gotten me out of the rut and i'm moving forward with my life, which is what she has said she wanted me to do.She has said things such as "I love you with all my heart and could imagine spending the rest of my life with you", but also, "I can't say I won't be intimate with another in our break" this especially hurts me since she's the only girl I've ever had sex with.At first I tried everything, leaving flowers and a letter on her porch, sending long messages on facebook, calling her and talking for hours. I was really hurting. I ended up deleting her off facebook and she said that hurt her - as she really still values me and wants me in her life. She wants to still go and see James Bond in premium seats next month, she still wants to see me on her birthday. She still wants me to be her friend (we are best friends, not only lovers). She also wants to see me next week. I can't just turn my feelings off and be friends. I love her with all of my heart. But I also don't want to push her away because we are so compatible. It's just very weird that she wants to do all of these things, yet she says we need a 'break and space'.. I am very confused by her actions, and I think she is confused in what she wants.. is this some kind of tough love to get me to move forward? I've told her how I've been feeling, and that i'm moving forward even with all of this pain.She has said i'm immature and not on the same level as her - which is true also. I don't have a fulltime job, I don't have a car. But I am working on it and am only 2-3months off of both! It hurts that she has dated me for this long, and i'm this close to finishing my education and she pulls the plug!Please help.. I really love her and don't want to lose her.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, grymsoul  +, writes (28 October 2012):
 "She'll only continue to string you along as long as you let her"
A
male
reader, grymsoul +, writes (28 October 2012):
I'm using my phone to reply to this so it shall be short due to the difficulty of pressing the keys.
I completey agree with janniepeg. This girl does not love you as much as you do her. She wants to be intimate with someone else but also wants to ensure that you could be a safety net just in case it doesn't work out.
Have some dignity, bro. Where's you self-respect when you need it the most? Let this girl go. She'll only continue to string you along as long you let you.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (28 October 2012):
 She is interested in someone else. She is keeping you there so that in case it doesn't work out with the other guy she has you and won't be alone in between.
"I love you with all my heart and could imagine spending the rest of my life with you", but also, "I can't say I won't be intimate with another in our break"
These two have got to be the most contradicting statements. She is saying the first to prevent you from truly moving on from her. She is saying the second to mean that she will have intimacy with another, but in a subtle, less hurting way. You are treating her so nicely, with premium gifts, so why would she want to let you go? The colder she is, the better you treat her. She gets the best of both worlds: Your reluctant but pampering friendship and the freedom to check out other guys. I am sorry but you have to move on from this girl. The longer you wait the more you will hurt in the end.
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A
female
reader, Dear Mandy  +, writes (28 October 2012):
 HI
A couple of things you have said concern me..1 having SEX. if you really love someone most people would term that as making love. and 2 you mention premium seats which leads me to believe your more concerned about how much the seating costs rather than the actual time spent together. I appreciate that your ex GF DOES sound a little confused as to where she wants this to lead, but if by what your saying has anything to go by it maybe because you come across as sounding a little bit snobbish. She loves you but can't stand the arrogance of which you seem to portray. Maybe if you let her know she is worth more than money could buy she would give you her 100% ? I maybe wrong in what I'm saying BUT I doubt it! I can see you really care for her but do you take the time to SHOW her you care for her? not all women want or need the premium of anything .they just want the security of knowing that the man they are with have there best interest at heart !
Good luck
Mandy x
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