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Co-worker crush - does he like me, or am I just being too anxious??

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Question - (16 November 2008) 4 Answers - (Newest, 16 November 2008)
A female United States age 36-40, *ilipina123 writes:

CoWorker Crush - Does he like me?

Need some advice if my co-worker likes me or not... We work in different departments, but we work on some projects together. When I met him, immediately I thought he was cute and developed a little crush. Since we work on some projects together, we'd talk - and I found that we're always laughing and smiling at each other.

One day, I posted on my IM away message that I was going to go kickboxing. He messaged me saying that he kickboxes to, and that I should go check out his gym.

So we've been going to the gym together - and once in a while I'd ask him to go get dinner afterwards. He only agreed once, and usually just wants to go home since the class ends at 8:30pm (turns me down basically).

Anyway, once in a while he'd message me first, asking if I'm going to the gym. One time I didn't almost come, and he commented, "I thought you weren't going to make it!"

For Halloween, I was not sure which club I was going to, so he said, "make sure to come to the club I'm going to if you haven't decided!"

And then this weekend, I didn't know what I was up to, and he said, " :) hit me up if you're bored!"

In order to play hard to get (or not look desperate), I told him that I was going to go out with my girls instead. At midnight, when I was drunk, I texted him asking what he was doing, and he hasn't replied since.

What do you guys think? Am I over-reading his actions? Maybe he just really thinks of me as just his buddy...

Your input is much appreciated!

View related questions: co-worker, crush, drunk, text

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A reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2008):

Some guys like to do all the chasing and take a lot of time about it.In the end the girl just gets bored and moves on.He seems to be giving mixed signals.

Some guys are just obnoxious and love making girls chase after them.Once the girl starts liking them,the thrill of the chase is over and they stop talking to the girl.

Please don't think of this skunky creature.Ignore him.You will definitely find a genuine guy out there who has grown up and is too mature to play such idiotic games.

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A female reader, jeaniemarie United States +, writes (16 November 2008):

Wow sounds like he is playing stupid games with you. Maybe he just enjoys the attention. Personally I would move on to someone who is going to be more than just a "gym buddy," especially since you have asked him out more than once and he has turned you down.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2008):

PS. Do you cook? Why not ask him over for a home cooked dinner sometime (?) Many men really go for that...

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A reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2008):

Well, it could be that he only sees you as a "buddy", filipina. I don't see kickboxing as a very "romantic" common interest. If you are really attracted to him, you might try another approach. You might ask about his other interests, like movies or music or other hobbies. I know it is hard for girls to make the first move, sometimes, but a little more feminine wiles could get his attention.

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