A
male
age
30-35,
*illow1989
writes:I posted a question a while back wondering if I was gay or just having a little fetish but now I believe i am bisexual and I am attracted to men. In light if this I decided to join a dating website to try and find a boyfriend or just a a friend that was also in the same boat because I don't feel I can talk to friends or family about it as they are none the wiser. I got chatting to a few local good looking guys and got on well with a lot of them but then when the question of meeting up was asked I got weirded out and ignored the message. Why can't I just meet up with them like I would if it was a girl, am I scared or do I just think its not right and dismiss it, I'd like to here from other gay guys and tell me if it's normal to feel like this. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, supermum +, writes (9 November 2011):
 @Aunt_Honesty is right, it is just nerves. Internet dating is scarey enough without doing something completely new at the same time. Why not grab a friend (one that knows about you) and head out to a gay bar. Get chatting to the people there and hear about their experiences while there is no pressure to do anything. You could make some great friends in the process.They say a gay bar is one of the safest places to be! I am not gay or bi, but I attend my local gay bar with a large group of friends once a month, and we have the best time! The great thing about it is that people there tend to be very open minded and willing to talk, many are from alternative lifestyles (IE I go with a bunch of my kinky friends, but while we are there we meet up with transvestited, gay people, bi people, crazy people, cross dressers, all sorts, and I have made some lifelong friends because of it). The important thing is that you feel safe and secure at all times, and that you explore things slowly. While you have decided you are bi, you have not yet (by the sounds of it) had any real contact with men in that way. In which case, do not pressure yourself into finding mr or mrs right just now, instead focus on learning more about yourself, having fun and meeting new people.
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (9 November 2011):
 I think it is just your nerves getting the better of you. Yes it is normal. You are just nervous about it, completely normal, believe me. Instead of trying to meet men over the internet why not look in to gay or bisexual groups, at least this way there will be plenty of people to talk to and it won't have the added pressure on you of just meeting one person, also it may benefit you and who knows who you could meet. Look in to local groups who specialise in this area.
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