A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm about one third of the way through a one year postgraduate degree in science, and I'm really down about it at this stage. I only chose science initially for university because I was in a bad place at the end of high school and despite my real passion being English, I left that course due to a really rude teacher who enjoyed belittling me. Anyway, I passively got through undergraduate, with little social life at all until my final year (even then it wasn't a considerable one, really) and without a single girlfriend. Then I made a decision to go after what I wanted, and spent the summer in another country doing work which frustrated me at times, but ultimately work I'm glad I went for. So, I got approached for a paid Masters, and because I wanted to stay attached to the college lifestyle I was just starting to enjoy at the end of my final year, I took it.Now, despite the social side of my degree being fine (although my boss is becoming a bit passive aggressive since Christmas, but it's not too bad) I really don't care for the research at all. Like, if I'm being honest, I geniunely don't care about my field at all. It feels like a real struggle. I'm now at the stage where I'm filled with regret about now pursuing my childhood dream (I was top in my class at English all the way until the end of high school and creative writing was my hobby and passion for most of that time). I always told myself I'd write creatively in my spare time, but the pressures of science make me feel guilty if I do write as there's more Masters work I'm supposed to be doing, and I also just feel burnt our and tired often. In terms of dating, I feel just as lost as before. I've looked at online dating sites, but none of it really appeals.So, I'm thinking of making a radical change. I could be offered PhD, and I am going to turn it down despite the guaranteed pay if it comes up. Even in a bad economy, surely being happy means more? I've looked into working in Canada for a year casually just for the travel opportunity and experience, and it's doable. I've also looked up part time study in English literature, which I'd want to do if it's feasible. I'd only be 22 upon graduating my Masters, so I'd still be quite young if I did that. Teaching English at high school level might be one aim.My question really is what people would recommend I do, both about dating and working. Is going after work which is more appealing to me even if it's riskier a good move, and am I right to think my odds of dating will increase when I'm not spending my time in a lab, stressing about a lab and so forth. Thanks.
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male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (20 January 2012):
 You're not living the kind of life you want. It's difficult to say what is right: to go after your dream, or to take the Ph.D. I think I would go for the Ph.D. If you don't like it, you can follow your dream later. The same is not true of your dropping out now and trying later.
A
female
reader, tortum  +, writes (20 January 2012):
"Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors where there were only walls."I completely, completely, completely understand the whole English and potential instability versus Science and complete stability. It's a tough decision because we all want to have it all in life, we want to love our job, but we also want to be secure and have enough money to support ourselves. Since you already have undergraduate work completed, science is something you can easily return to if need be. But since you said you enjoyed the college life, why not extend it? Go for a bachelors in English, if that's what you want and you think it will make you happy. You already have a fallback option and if you have an English degree, you can always teach as you said, and you can see what other roads you may want to go down. Who knows, you may find something else you fall in love with. As for dating, I wouldn't worry about it. I'm a true believer in fate and I think you will find someone when you aren't even looking. Regardless of lab work, when someone catches your eye, the work won't matter as much. However, I believe that if you go for an English degree, you would be able to explore other options and for once actually be a carefree kid. I'm not saying getting an English degree will be easy, but it will be more fun and give you more opportunities to socialize and find women that share your interests. :)
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (20 January 2012):
 I didn't follow my dream either, I did what was "expected" of me. I wanted to pursue arts, my parents wanted me to have a degree in (as they put it) something you can make a living doing. So I did. I got a degree in marketing (since I figured there was at least SOME creativity in this) and one in economics. I have worked both fields and honestly I HATED both, they just didn't fulfill me at all. I stopped painting and writing ( two of my favorite things).
So my advice to you, is this, go for you dream. You will be 22 on finishing your Masters? Finish it, then go for your dream. It might turn out that Science is something you want to go back to, it might be that it is not, but regardless, the knowledge gained can only help you. Even if in no other way then to know what you don't want to do.
To have a job where you wake up in the morning and are HAPPY and content to go to work is not common, but something to aim for.
I myself am going back to college and doing computer graphics and I'm looking forward to it, even if I'm in my 40's :)
As for dating. You need to get out and be a little more social. Even with all that heavy school work, you still need to improve on your social skills and you can't do that in a science lab. Who knows you might find someone to share your spare time with.
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