A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I can't tell the difference between loving sex and loving the guy?I feel really unstable i don't know what's going on. This guy I've been seeing and spending time with has me feeling so confused. We do have sex, and I love it. However I don't know if he thinks I just love the sex, and now that I think about it that might be true? I do have a tendency to pull away. I don't know anymore. I feel like my mind is all clouded up and I don't know how I really feel about this guy deep down. I do look for reasons to be jealous, and I do want to have him to myself but is that just my ego? I can't tell if all I want from him is the sex and my ego wants him to myself, or if I actually want to be with this guy. I can't even begin to talk to him about it because I don't even know what I want - I'm so confused! I just wish i could sort my feelings out because I want to know whether to move forward with this guy or just leave it alone. I'm afraid of a) getting hurt, or b) ruining a great thing over nothing.The reason I am so confused is before, I ruined a great thing over nothing. I was afraid of getting hurt so I dumped the guy, and then I missed him for months and regretted dumping him out of fear. I'm afraid of making the same mistake so I need a way to find out how I feel before I make any decisions?
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female
reader, aphexinfinite  +, writes (14 August 2009):
 no worrys glad i can help sometimes we forget big or littles things and they can make the world of a difference i just hope you can get things sorted out and live a happy life ! good luck aphex xx
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionyou know what aphexinfinite you're right. something bad did happen in my life where a parent did not commit. i didn't think of this way. my mom ran away from our family and basically decided she didnt want to be a wife and mother anymore, and my dad was really hurt by this. i dont think of this anymore as i was extremely young and we have all moved on, and i certainly dont think of that in my own relationships, but thanks for suggesting that maybe it still impacts me on subconscious level.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 August 2009): Most women feel emotional attachment to guys that they have sex with. Look up the chemical oxytocin, it causes this. Men are not built the same way.
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A
female
reader, aphexinfinite +, writes (13 August 2009):
the first thing that runs through my head reading this is maybe your afraid of commitment. that this guy wont commit like you want him to and that something bad in your life has happened were someone hasnt committed a parent maybe or a first love ? you need to deal with your issues and perhaps you may ruin another good thing deal with these issues before making a choice or a mistake. hope this helps aphex xx
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