A
male
age
,
anonymous
writes:Should I send a xmas card to a woman that broke up with me in an email, "I think we should just leave things well enough alone..." It is killing me and embarrassing at my age (47) but I am still in love with her three months after our (email) exchange and six months since I last saw her. We dated for six months. She is divorced with three teens and has a demanding sales job--she sensed my desire for "long-term" and gradually withdrew but admitted we had a connection, attraction, intimacy, fun..etc. We were friends in college and she reached out 25 years later (2009). What to do? Stoic or a friendly card? Help, please!
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIf not for those who responded here i would likely send this woman a xmas card--a big mistake in all likelihood. it might appear needy/obssessive instead of friendly and i can't risk that now--maybe down the road. i hate losing people but that is the inherent risk of love, often an all or nothing proposition. being alone at xmas is depressing and i want so to be married or at least attached--it's an awkward thing to be a bachelor--anyway, thanks to all of you that responded.
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (14 December 2010):
 I wouldn't waste anymore precious time on this gal. She's made her feelings very very clear. Keep busy, keep dating, get on with your life.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionyes, her response was clear and I would likely make circumstances worse by sending a card. She said we could be friends but that is more a kind remark than a reality, in most cases. I could be her friend, but I don't wish to see her with another. I had a problem with arthritis medication and it made me anxious in general and with intimacy, but the bigger issue(I think) is that her free time is limited (3 teens/work) a gay ex-husband, and said several times "you want long-term." My question is, who doesn't? Maybe in time?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2010): Funnily enough, I've also been considering whether to send an xmas card to my ex - who broke up with me in an equally callous and selfish way.
BUT ... it's a CRAZY idea! The other posters are right. Not only did your ex choose not to be with you, she told you in an extremely heartless way. Same as mine.
It hurts when you still care/love a person, but sending a card will not win someone like her back. She may find it "nice", but so what?
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (14 December 2010):
Apparently you were never in the military, at least never disciplined in the military. Your post reminds me of the old "Thank you sir, may I have another".
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (14 December 2010):
Her email was as clear as it will get. I wouldn't sent a card to this woman at all. I know it's hurting you, but you were dumped by email, which was lousy enough, and that email was as clear as it could get. Don't send her a card.
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