A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:my boyfriend is moving into a house and renting a room near where i live to be closer to me. problem is the house is a female friend's of his who he had a one night stand with before he met me. he says i've got nothing to worry about as it was a big mistake and they are just friends, however, she texts me saying that she is not to be trusted and she will flirt with him and always goes over the top when she flirts. after she apologised and said she was winding me up and she would never try anything with him. i don't know what to do. also my boyfriend has lots of female friends and thinks nothing of going round their houses for drinks, which i don't have a problem with, it's just the fact that he insists on staying there overnight all the time because he gets too drunk to come back to me. Can i really truly trust this man?
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drunk, flirt, one night stand, text Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2008): It is less a question of trust (although I wouldn't trust him as far as I could throw him) but more of why on earth would you want to be with a man with all these 'not so amazing' qualities and such little respect for you and your relationship with him? Why do you put up with it? I hope you see sense and find a really lovely guy who is devoted to you.
A
male
reader, dapone 1 +, writes (3 February 2008):
 If this guy is staying with a another woman,you are asking for trouble especially as he has already admitted that they have already had a relationship, the reason he has given you for staying over is lame, does not matter how drunk he is he should always return home to you,i think he is taking advantage of your trust in him, you really need to tell him that you are not happy with this situation and need to know were you stand in this relationship,if he continues to stay over then you need to rethink the relationship that you are in,and find someone who will treat you with the respect and loyalty that you really deserve.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2008): Well I would be concerned if I was in your shoes. Firstly, he told you they had a one night stand..so he finds/found her sexually attractive. He says it was a mistake..one red flag. He's moving and sharing a house with her..two red flags. She texted you and said she flirts with him and she's not to be trusted..flag number 3. your boyfriend has lots of female friends and stays the night because he's drunk..red flags 4 & 5. How many more do you need to be waved in your face....Find someone who respects you and if he was half a decent guy he would be standing on his own two feet and renting his own place..This one is definately not to be trusted. Sorry to be so harsh, but I was hurt by a guy who had lots of female friends and he was sleeping with all of them. Your guy isn't ready for a commitment with you and you would be wise to look after your heart and find a guy who can really give you what you are looking for.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (3 February 2008):
 Nope! Don't trust anyone, man or woman.They are mortal ,weak and can succumb to temptations.
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A
male
reader, shazman1984  +, writes (3 February 2008):
Sweetie, you need to be firm with him. Tell him how you dont feel comfortable with her there and you know of her intentions. If i truly loved a woman, and something like this bothered her, i wouldnt have to think twice about it. If he doesnt change his current ways, then i cant say he's mature enough to be trusted as of now.
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