A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi,I've been with my boyfriend for 6 months and see him every couple of weeks due to distance and we've been on holidays together. We had a talk about feelings and he told me he has feelings for me but doesn't love me but wants us to stay together.I've met his family and we get on very well whom his very close too. In his first real girlfriend and his 28 years old. What do you think? Can feelings of love develop or should they already have? Thank you x x
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (18 June 2012):
 Love can take it's time. I don't think 6 months is a very long time period, and especially if you are his first girlfriend it can take longer for him to get used to the new feelings and identify them. It's not easy to recognize love if you haven't ever felt it before, and even if he does already love you he might need more time to tell you so. It can be a very big step for some. I have a friend who was with her boyfriend for 3 years and they had children together during this time, but he still wouldn't say he loved her until after they were married. Some men think you should only love someone you are married to, and even if you feel love before then they wont say so.
You need to look to his actions, and not listen to words alone. His actions will reveal what he feels for you.
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (18 June 2012):
 Uhm. In love there are no timetables and no "should ", true.... on the other hand ,after 6 months " I have feelings and I want us to be together " sounds much the equivalent of " I am biding my time, and enjoying the sex and the company until I chance into something more appealing / exciting ".
If you can keep it this way from your side too, without too many expectations and future plans, it will be fine.
But if you feel you don't have the patience to wait for him to come around feelingswise ( when ? in one year ? two ? ten ? ) and if being at different levels of emotional involvement nags at you a lot , - get out now. No point in getting hurt everyday, waiting for something that may also never happen.
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