A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hey all, quick question for anyone listening, Do you think that its ok for ex's to be best friends? my new gf is bestfriends with her ex and it just makes me uneasy, she assures me that its all over between then but i still cant help but be bothered by the fact that if im not there hanging out then he is, am i wrong for being stressed and should i not worry or am i right to be concerned?
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2008): i was good friends with my ex and so my former lover got mad often at me for this although there was really nothing to it. in my case, it was impossible to not be friends with ex, he's a choir mate.
former lover would make me admit that there's something going on between my ex and i, and it really sucks! it was annoying, it felt like he didn't trust me. the more he did that, the more i got the nerve to talk to ex more often.
it's ok to be concerned and bothered, but please, don't freak out or get tooooooo stressed like my former lover did. if he only told me properly, approached the matter as a gentleman, and asked me to do a little something about it, it would've been a lot easier on my part.
A
female
reader, Sugarbuns  +, writes (28 May 2008):
 Personally it's never a good idea and you should be a bit suspicious. Normally when a romantic relationship ends, it's very painful for one or both parties involved. At best, some people will learn to rise above the pain eventually and be cordial to the person they once loved and lost. But best friends? If she's the person who got dumped, then she's just wantom to be friends with her ex because she never got over him and she's secretly hoping he'll change his mind. If she's the one who did the dumping then why would she want to be his "best friend" if she's the one who ended the relationship...unless of course, she ended it because he cheated on her. Then this is just her way of rubbing his nose in it. Either way, it's not good, and it will not contribute anything positive to her current relationship with you. She needs to decide who she wants to be with the cut the other tie. If she refuses, you can bet she has other motives for being his friend. Good luck.
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A
male
reader, Passthrough  +, writes (28 May 2008):
 Oh man, I feel this one.
If he acts in any way possesive, touchy-feely, or does anything thats anything but platonic, you have a cause for concern. Address it with both of them, individually, as you see fit. Make sure it is your place; dont come between them if you dont fit there.
If there is nothing but friendship, write it off. Maybe talk with her about it, or YOU move in with her and bump him out :-D
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A
female
reader, sweetyforlife21 +, writes (28 May 2008):
its not ok what so ever, you might get cheated on or hard broken because thier could be a chance that they might get back together. If she loves you enough if you tell her its not ok she should be ok with that. remember youre first in her life so she should care about youre feelings first. If she gets mad that when u tell her ur not conmfable her to be friends with her ex than u should think to ur slef if u still want to be with he.
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A
female
reader, Shaunananana +, writes (28 May 2008):
I would be. I don't think it is right. (That's just my opinion though) I think that Being friends with an ex is a constant reminder of the good times you had with them and the feelings you had for them have a much much harder time going away. (Neither I nor the guy I am with will even talk to our ex's even though his mom trys to get him too :( ) but anyways... he wont talk to them cause he knows that will hurt our relationship because it gives more of a chance of the feelings he had for her to resurface (or her feelings for him too)Good luck.
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