A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:*OP's own title*So I've been dating this wonderful guy for a couple months now, and everything's great. We have great sex which we both enjoy, but he has mentioned in passing a couple times the more adventurous things he did with his last girlfriend(s). For example, road head, public sex, facials, etc. Some things I'm interested in trying, but sometimes I think I only am interested because I feel like I have to compete with the exes. I want to be the best girlfriend he's had, and I want the sex we have to be the best sex he's ever had....I guess my question is, am I being unreasonably jealous/competitive? and if so, how can I stop, and just enjoy the (more vanilla) sex that we're having, without worrying if it's good enough for him?
View related questions:
jealous Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 December 2010): I'm in the same situation. I've been dating this guy for 9 months so far. And he told me the experimental things he did with his ex once when we were arguing. I still can't get over it. I feel very bad about both the relationship and myself. Sometimes I feel I have to compete with his ex and sometimes I just feel no sex-drive. I understand that he's with me now and he told me the reason why they broke up. But I somehow still feel they had a stronger connection. Especially he's got her name tattooed on his chest. Any resolve?
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 March 2010): Do things with him that he hasn't done with ex's in the past. And to be honest he's being kind of a jerk telling you all the things he's done with ex's.
If he wants you to do those things he Should find a better way to tell you than, "hey my last gf used to do this with me..."
if I told my girl that she would say, "well go ask her to do it then..."
...............................
A
male
reader, serenity80  +, writes (15 March 2010):
I agree with the other advice. Another thing is, if you have the confidence that this relationship is going to last then you don't need to rush in to anything to prove yourself. Take things slowly, introduce new things SLOWLY. If you feel it is a competition, the relationship will be too based on sex - and a relationship based on that will never last.
...............................
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (15 March 2010):
He's not with any of those ex's. He's with you. And don't be too sure he really did all this stuff with them either. Men are great at inflating egos. He may be saying a lot of things to try to get you to experiment more. The important thing is that you do as much as you are comfortable with.
...............................
A
female
reader, Angzw  +, writes (15 March 2010):
If the ex girlfriends were so wonderful then why is he no longer with them? Obviously their acrobatics were not enough for him to stay with them. They are probably also wondering what you are giving him that they couldn't so don't worry about it. They are his past and you are his future. While its good to always want to learn, you don't have to compete with the past. Just be yourself and enjoy what you have.
...............................
|
