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Boyfriend wants to break up because I'm too clingy

Tagged as: Breaking up, Dating, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (5 November 2015) 3 Answers - (Newest, 5 November 2015)
A female age 18-21, anonymous writes:

Yesterday my boyfriend said he wanted a break because I'm depressed and to clingy and he can't handle it we have been together for 6 months we are always happy together her said he wants to hang with his friends more . We hang out after school and hug ect... He just wants more time with his mates . I don't know what to do?

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (5 November 2015):

Honeypie agony auntLet him go. You can't MAKE him want to stay with you. Whether you really ARE clingy or not is a whole other matter. That may just be his "excuse" to dump you. So please don't take that personal. (I know that is hard, but try).

If he is 13-15 like you he may just not be mature enough or ready for a relationship. And who wants to be with someone who really don't want to be with you? right?

As for being depressed. Do you think you are? If so, have you talked to your parents? Or seen a doctor? Talked to a school counselor?

Make YOU the #1 person in your life. That means YOU take care of yourself. Find things that make YOURSELF happy. Sports, creative outlets, friends.

It's entirely his loss.

Chin up.

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A male reader, no nonsense Aidan United Kingdom +, writes (5 November 2015):

You are very young and at your stage of life relationships do just fizzle out like this. Maybe you relied on him for emotional support with whatever’s troubling you and he couldn’t deal with it. At your age this kind of thing happens all the time and the way to deal with it is to accept the breakup and leave him alone to spend time with his friends as he wishes. You have to presume he wants to break up because you can’t wait forever to see if he changes his mind. If he realises he’s made a mistake, it’s up to him to tell you but you need to presume it’s over. You can’t make him come back if he doesn’t want to. I also realise that’s hard to hear, and it can feel difficult to believe it when older people tell you that you’ll get over it, but trust me you will. The important thing is to work out whether you are indeed depressed, worried or upset and who you can talk to about why that might be. You haven’t talked about this, perhaps because you’re not looking for advice about it here, but I think you should find some-one to discuss it with. Also, take a leaf out of his book and spend more time with your own friends. Space is important in any relationship – a really important lesson for the future. Good luck.

I wish you all the very best.

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A female reader, Mina_Bhamji United Kingdom +, writes (5 November 2015):

Mina_Bhamji agony auntSometimes a break can be healthy. It doesn't necessarily mean you're breaking up, but just having a bit of space. Within that time you guys are having space, you can sort out the reasons to why you're depressed and give yourself a chance to hang out with your friends too. If you say no to having a break it could lead to him being unhappy in the relationship and feeling suffocated. So come to some sort of mutual agreement to how you guys want to take this break. Maybe hanging out less after school, and minimising it to a 2 times a week just so he can have time to spend with his friends. And whilst he does that you could do the same or do other things that you might of not been doing, or even start trying new things after school such as going to after school clubs etc.

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