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Boyfriend isn't spontaneous!

Tagged as: Dating, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (9 January 2009) 3 Answers - (Newest, 9 January 2009)
A female age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I've been with my boyfriend for 7 months now, and i told him i loved him about 4 months in because that is how i felt. I wanted to say it before he did so i knew i felt it and wasn't saying it in guilt. Like i have done in the past.It's just i am a bit bored, if that makes any sense? Every other boyfriend i have had ended in heartache yes, but it was exciting, i didn't know where it was going next and it kept me on my toes. My boyfriend used to do really spontaenous things, take me out, surprise me lately he hasn't so much. we are only students so don't have alot of money, but you don't need money to have fun you know? His kissing bores me a well, he never uses his toungue which isn't a big thing i know but i love french kissing i find it a real turnon, every other lad i have been with did too. But he never does it! I am really spontaneous too and i tried to do something spontaneous and he tried to plan parts of it!

Our sex life is getting pretty routine as well. How do i get him to be a bit more something, more exciting? guys any help?

View related questions: kissing, money, sex life

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (9 January 2009):

Honeypie agony auntThere is nothing wrong in telling him you MISS all the spontaneous stuff he used to do. And no, you can do a lot of crazy stuff for free:) It's all about using your creativity. And YOU can do something spontaneous/romantic for him too, you know?

Secondly, the kissing. OK. You want tongue with your kisses? First whisper in his ear, I want to eat you up.. Put both hands on the sides of his neck right under the ears, touch the skin under and around his ears gently with "butterfly" strokes, then start to nibble ( gently, no biting (yet)lol) on his lips and then YOU use your tongue softly in the corner of his mouth (both sides) before you start to french kiss him, if he doesn't return the kiss then uh, maybe he isn't into using tongue :( - It usually result in being carried to the bedroom if done right.

Same with your sex-life. It takes 2 to tango, so if your sex life is getting routine, then maybe YOU aren't putting a lot of effort into it either? Talk to him ( don't tell him he's boring) but tell him that you want to spice it up. Getting a book or two is never a bad idea or heck look something up on the internet that you think might be fun to try and either email it to him or print it out and hand it to him. Rent a movie. Read an erotic story to him in bed. Surprise him with a wake up blow job.. Use YOUR imagination, trust me it's contagious :) He'll want to outdo you.

Good luck!

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A male reader, Griffo Australia +, writes (9 January 2009):

Griffo agony auntWell you know its said love is not meant to last forever, but how our grandparents did it is a real secret. You see, no matter who your with in the future you'll always end up in the same place. Eventually you'll know all the sexual position and been there and done all that.

The true challenge is in itself, is sticking by that one person you love through thick and thin being loyal. If you really love them, thats the true challenge and thats why there is love. If you find yourself unable to do it with that person then maybe there not the one for you.

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A female reader, Stayc63088 United States +, writes (9 January 2009):

Stayc63088 agony auntI know what you mean. I get bored veryyy easily too. Also even though my exes ended in some dramatic sadness it was still exciting and different. Then being in a relationship with basically the same thing everyday is quite boring. You just have to tell him in a nice way that you are getting bored. Say that you want to go out somewhere new the next time you are going out. And tell him not to tell you what he's planning, it worked for me and my boyfriend. As for the sex, while you are doing it just say "Can we try it like this?" Or buy him a book of positions to try and let him read it or read it together. Just tell him to plan some fun new things to do and keep them to himself so you can be surprised. Then hint at some things you have always to do. Hope it works for you.

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