A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Me and my boyfriend of 3 months broke up for about a month, due to the fact I had caught him cheating and chatting up other girls. It all started when we were about a month in, and he was accused of kissing a girl at a party, we worked out it wasn't true, but then there came a day around about 2 months later when I went on his facebook without him knowing. I caught him red handed chatting other girls up, it wasn't even slight flirting, it was just dirty. I debated leaving him then and there, but I felt I could put this behind me, two days later however, I was told by a close friend that he met up with one of her friends for sex. I never found out what happened, but he admitted after a while that he did go to her house, she said he spent the night asking her for sex, the disgusting thing was he came round mine straight after. I think something more happened but I never got to the bottom of it. We got back together, due to just simply missing eachother so much, he promised never to do what he did again, because it put me in such a bad state. Since we got back together everythings been great, hes grown up and matured, and it feels like hes a new person. But I still can't trust him, and its really effecting me and us now. I think hes cheating again, hes always really over-protective over his facebook, i'm not aloud to go on it, he takes his phone everywhere, he won't even log on around my house. I'm so paranoid about evething, I ask him constantly if he loves me and it all goes round in a big circle. I have a severe anxiety disorder which may effect things, but I don't know anymore, I love him so much, but I just simply find it impossible to trust him. I don't know if maybe finding out more would give me closure, even know I don't want to know what he did and how he cheated, I don't know what would make this better, and give me the will power to actually trust him again? Me and a friend even set 2 honey traps, which he passed with flying colours. I just need to hear from someone who has been in my situation or someone who can help me just to find away to trust him again? Thankyou
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIts hard for me. Because, I won't deny it but i'm kind of dependent on men. It sounds really stupid, like really stupid, but I never had a dad, so now, due to other problems, I find it really hard to let boyfriends go, because there everything I never had wrapped into one. The constant anxiety, the constant wondering what hes doing and who hes talking to on facebook is driving me crazy. I have so many other things I need to focus on but all I can do is think about this. Things were going well, but its been since this weekend I just haven't been able to stop worrying, Its because when we got back together, he said to me that he hadn't been talking to any other girls, and this weekend he really put himself in it. I really just don't know what to do, and I want a magical answer to just appear, it seems like hes really changed though. What if all of this is in my head? I don't know what to do, and I just want to be able to be happy without the constant panicking and anxiety, but it won't go away, it feels like theres just something not right, and I can't put my finger on it. Letting go is so much easily said then done.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI didn't snoop. We had a joke where we hacked eachothers facebooks,and wrote funny statuses. I did it to him, I went on his phone and the convo was already open, I didn't look through his messages, I read the first 5 and then thought fuck this. The thing is hes really changed, and I know you hear that alot, the reason he said he doesn't like me going on his facebook, is because he has alot of personal chats with friends and stuff, like I do with mine really. Its just I really worry, and I have confronted him about it, and he really said that we need to work on the whole trust thing, because hes loved me. When he did what he did last time it really pushed me, and he woke up abit. I'm just hoping he might of woken up for good, all his friends say hes changed and that he thinks the world of me. I do beleive everyone desevers a second chance, and compared to how he treated me the first time, hes been great, he hasn't ignored me or shown any of the tell tale signs. Hes been there through every step, and well maybe he has changed. I just feel like due to my own trust issues, I can't do it, and it really hurts. Its partly to do, with the fact I was in an abusive relationship before this one, and now I just want a way in which I can make it easier?
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (28 April 2013):
 The greatest "trust" you ought to have is trust in your intuition......
This guy sounds like one of those cliche "once a cheater, always a cheater" types.....
So.... why expose yourself to the likely despair and angst that you might (likely) will have to endure? Instead, part ways with him now, and spend your time looking for a nice, true and faithful boyfriend....
Good luck...
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