A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've been with my boyfriend for a little over a year now. Pretty much since the beginning of his relationship I knew he cheated on one of his exes..."Cheryl" with another girl named "Chelsey". He ended up dating Chelsey for five years until she cheated on him.About 10 months into the relationship I started a new job with a girl who used to know Chelsey and I found out that my bf cheated on her with Cheryl. I talked to him and he said he did cheat on her but he kind of justified it by saying it was with a girl that he dated for two years (Cheryl).I know he talks to them both on facebook and msn. He says he would never cheat on me but I'm super paranoid that he is going to, or even that he is right now.Should I be worried he might cheat on me too? What should I do?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2011): Creating an open and honest relationship is the one way to make cheating less enticing to any partner..If you start trying to control who he talks to and dont talk to, you may be heading for truble...While maintaining close contact with his exes is not ideal...You have to create an atmosphere where he feels free to tell you if he ever comes into any type of contact with his ex...You paranoid behaviour makes you look needy and clingy and controlling and that kind of behaviour will eventually dump you or cheat on you...I suggest you read a book by Mimi turner called Dating without drama...You hopefully would learn a thing or two about dating without all that drama..and take a step to see if you are in the right relationship with the right person....Also Christain Carter'Catch him and keep him' is another worth reading..He explains how women sometine sabortage their relationships with their emotions....You actually find some men who have cheated in the past would not dream of cheating with their current partner? Why does this happen??? Meanwhile there are some jerks out there who would cheat regardless cos of their lack of self control, selfishness and all other issues they have with themselves....Sadly some women do push their men away and make this path an enticing option for their men..I'm not saying women are to blame because the decision to cheat on one's partner is that persons responsibilty albeit circumstances leading to it...Why not put your strength into discovering if this is the relationship you want and being the best woman a man can have....By worrying, the vibes you put out to him might lead to you pushing him away and he would probably eventually cheat..Paranoia is very unattractive...If you make yourself unattractive to your man..well, I'm sorry but the relationship will not go in the direction you want..Hope you find time to read theses books I have suggested..A few things may be made a lot clearer to you as to how our behaviour as women affect our relationship...So, yes..Stop being paranoid..However if you have a gut instinct about lack of trust, dont ignore it..Explore it, determine why it is there and resolve it..Which could mean maybe you are not in the right relationship...Thats is for you to be mature and clear minded to determine this...Goodluck
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