A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:I'm 18 years old and really like my friend who is 19. Just wondering what you guys think of this conov I had with him the other night on msn...Basicaly I was talking to him the other night on MSN and I was saying how most of the good guys are either taken or dont like me it seems. Then he said "Noway, I bet you there are heaps of guys who like you!". And I said "i highly doubt it" and he said "there are plenty of guys who like you, trust me :)" and then i said "what makes you so sure of yourself?" and he said "its a secret, but just trust me, lots of guys do like you :)".next thign I know, his msn screename changes to: 'i dont wanna flip when i see u with guys, too much pride, between you and i, not a jealous man, but females lie'. I duno if tht had anything to do with me or not. its weird tho cuz he barely has 'deep and meaninguful' names. shortly after that convo he said he had to go and he signed off saying "bye love you lol :)".he has never said 'love you' before....so it was weird. altho i think it may be related to what we talked about earlier in the convo, how he said he says that to alot of his friends and his aunty was teasing him about it...so basicaly my question is do you think frm what ive said that he likes me? quite a few times he has aksed me to go out clubbing with him but somethings always gotten in the way from us going at the same time, so its never happened. hes told me he thinks im pretty a fair few times as well and that im not a skank, and he says he goes for girls who are respectable.so yes, what do u guys think? sorry it was long, just wanted to give u all the details so u can judge accurately.
View related questions:
clubbing, jealous, msn, teasing Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, rcn  +, writes (27 September 2007):
 Well take care. That's great that he waits. He should be proud of doing so. One big problem we have all over the world, people see someone cute, rush things because of looks, and just settle for bad behavior.
I wish you luck, being weary is OK, so is blushing. Guys love it when they can make you blush. lol
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 September 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionlol my pride isnt wounded. what would i be proud about in the first place to even have it wounded?
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 September 2007): Sorry we only speak as we find.
Take care and dont have too much wounded pride.
xx
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 September 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionA reader, anonymous, writes (26 September 2007):-
I wasnt tryign to get anyones 'permission' to go and date him, my question was do you think hes interested in me...you guys volunteered your opinions on whether or not he would be a good person to date, which I did take in, but just because I am not agreeing with what you are saying 100% and going to stay away from him doesnt mean I cant or wont be weary around him.
Just because a person hasnt had many relationships doesnt mean its a bad thing. He hasnt because he waits for people who he feels are truly special to him, just like myself. I never said hes ovely picky, i said hes picky and I even said that his reasons for not going out with some girls are pretty fair and sensible reasons i think. perhaps using the word picky was taken the wrong way.
huff of wounded pride? I did step back and take in what you said...its just i realised that you didndt know the situation that well or him, therefor your judgement may not be 100% accurate.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 September 2007): Wow. I guess you were hoping for all of us to say go ahead. Doink.
You don't need to choose to take this personally but again this goes with maturity vs. age so I'm not surprised you are personalizing this.
From what you still say; there is something that does not fit.
He hasnt had too many relatinships, ive known him since feb this year and hes been pretty picky in choosing girls.
I still don't like him saying these women are skanks. No one should say that about a woman, not even a fellow sister. There is enough violence and hatered and slander we women have to put up with from such people who choose to view women in a less than loving or honourable light.
It doesn't take such a young man to turn and say the same thing about you if you turn out to disappoint him or if it ends.
He hasn't had too many relationships because why? Is he overly picky? Most abusive men don't have alot of experience or many partners-just some backround info you may not be aware of. *wink*
No one on here ever said -what we said you had to follow. You have your free agency. You get to choose.
Coming on here in a huff of wounded pride doesn't give me confidence you are emotionally prepared for a relationship in that you don't have a great emotional intelligence to step back and see from our side and why we would give the advice we do.
We read countless posts; we can discern by words alone what someone is meaning or unintentionally telling us.
You did not give the information that you knew him since February and it was more than an online relationship-there was no indication that you meet with him face to face, hang out with him other than a chat online. This omitting of information could have been crucial.
Fairness starts with you and what you will give us to work on. Have some ownership for you part in this miscommunication.
With the numbers of online stalkers, predators using the internet to lure unsuspecting victims-we Aunts and Uncles went on the side of caution and told you it wasn't a good idea. This is fair to say for we had your safety at interest. I don't know why you choose to overlook that we really are concerned for your safety and well being.
I still stand by my statements as to why it may not be a good idea to pursue.
What makes him a good long term partner? What questions had he answered? What is it that matters to you in a parnter? Does he meet all of the standards? Does he share same life principles, life goals?
My Dad's advice to me was; any guy can pretend to be nice by doing nice things, and be a certain way-they can do this for a year. But doing nice things does not mean they are good people are nice in character.
It's when you are involved with them that they slowly start to reveal themselves.
Parents have a great sense of what and who will be a good influence in their child's life. I say have him meet the parents. Dad and Mom can always spot a fake.
Best Wishes.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 September 2007): Sorry i misunderstood. If you do meet him then be careful, i didnt mean anything bad.
take care
xx
...............................
A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (26 September 2007):
Only for those who know the whole story.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 September 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionrcn - i said he was a friend. if i hadnt met him it would of made more sense to say 'online friend' woudlnt it? hmm i think i gave a good amount of info.
...............................
A
male
reader, PsychMaster55  +, writes (26 September 2007):
 of course you could just ask him if he likes you. its not like he will lie and tell you no. even if he does, you will know that he is lying by looking at him. but anyway, you want it the easy way, yes he likes you.
...............................
A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (26 September 2007):
When you ask a question on here, we go directly off the information you provide to give you suggestions. Our suggestions are not probabilities, they are possibilities and areas of concern.
If it was mentioned you have hung out and didn't represent an internet date, our answers would have been considerably different. With those who meet people off the internet, what you listed would show a POSSIBILITY of concern and caution. How do you think criminals get to their victims. As far as the information given, our answers would have been use to you, so the mistake you mentioned is based off insufficient information to analyze your question in the most beneficial and useful way to you.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 September 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWaterloo Sunset- hes a friend from uni and i have met him before and hung out with him plenty of times.
Malyce_Synn72, rcn, Emmajane - I never thought of interpreting that message the way a few of you guys have- suggesting that hes abusive. but all it is is a quote from something and when i first read it, i never took it that way, so maybe he didnt realise the true meaning in it either? therefor it may not be stating truly what he thinks.i havent seen any of those signs tho in anything else he has done or said, so i think im gona take a chance and look for more signs before concluding that he could be an abuser.
And i think its unfair of malyce_syn72 to put him down for not coming out and telling me he likes me! so many people thing it hard to let the person they know they like, that they like them! its only natrual. i think thats harsh to put him down for that and say he isnt couragous and so on. I met him at university. He hasnt had too many relatinships, ive known him since feb this year and hes been pretty picky in choosing girls. and the reasons hes turned down many girls for i think r good and fair reasons.
and i agree with what A reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2007) wrote, saying that its normal for teenagers and so onto have names like that...usualy lyrics from songs.
anyway, thanks for all the replies :) appreciate them all.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2007): he totally likes you. me n my bf (now goin out for 2 years - im 18 goin on 19) were at that stage for months before we got round to actualling confrontation. it went a bit like 'gee i wish there were ppl like u about more often' and the same thing with u was that 'u probly have alota guys fancyin u' and he started saying i love u most of the time aftr that as well. i ended up taking it as a friend i love u, god nos y coz thats just ridiculous :p bt i didnt think e actually ment it n i was saying it bak until i eventually told him i actually ment it n e sed e ment it as well. so yeh e does completely fansy u. go for it i say. :) good luck
...............................
A
female
reader, Emajayne  +, writes (25 September 2007):
 i have to agree with everyone else...in being cautious. but i still think thats sooooo CUTE!
...............................
A
female
reader, leanne.od  +, writes (25 September 2007):
 it does seem as though he likes you - talk to him, you got nothing to loose really. and enjoy it!!!!
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2007): hi!=) awwwww i think he likes you! (and to the other responces, i dont think its creepy young people these days have deep usernames all the time on bebo and msn so its normal for me anyway) well try arange for you and him to meet up and do something together but make him do the work, drop hints on liking to go see a certain movie and well see where it goes from there, does he smile at you and look into your eyes when he does? (if so he deffinatly does) make sure you smile at him a lot (guys are more attracted to positive happy people)
good luck!=)
...............................
A
female
reader, Emmajane +, writes (25 September 2007):
 I know you asked for a reply from guys but I have to say like the other people here that this guy is weird! Be veeerrry careful! I'd give him a miss!
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2007): He sounds way too weird to me. This is all on msn, mmm, i don't think you should meet this one. Change your msn stuff and block him out if he does get to know yours. He sounds very creepy and i wouldnt be happy around someone like this. Step well away from him.
take care
and never agree to meet him, alone!!!
xx
...............................
A
male
reader, Sparticus +, writes (25 September 2007):
He clearly sees something in you! What are you waiting for? You're a girl, he's a guy - there's seems to be a spark - go out there and get him before it's too late!
Good luck!
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2007): I agree with RCN. Let's dissect the dude in questions msn message. *grins*
'i dont wanna flip when i see u with guys, too much pride, between you and i, not a jealous man, but females lie'
In this statement lies jealousy, insecurity, anger, and controlling/abusive tendancies.
Doesn't want to flip when he sees you with guys. Then don't. But this statement implies it is out of his control. Not good.
too much pride...well we all have pride but the abusive man has an overblown sense of self entitlement and he can find fault with anything as THEY WANT TO GIVE INTO their anger...they like the rush and perverse thrill of abuse. You couple this statement with the one before it and it sets off the senses.
Not a jealous man...usually when someone has to point this out...I'm not jealous but when you were with so and so...HE is Jealous. Most con-man like to throw such statements out there to throw people off...it's the equiv of someone who is not trustworthy who says TRUST ME. In stalkers/rapist...these are key tatics and phrases they use to throw off their victims.
Females lie. Wow that is a generalization and again, most men who have anger towards women have a low view of them and have unfair and unrealistic values they attribute them with. Females lie therefore...they are the cause and to blame if a man gets angry and possibly aggressive. They cause jealousy. They can't be trusted; are dishonest.
Who would want to date a man who has such a low opinion of women?
That he can't come out and say, like a courageous man in love, I like you....again, he doesn't take ownership or responsibility and begins a game by using hints.
I also have found that such men have a cunning in how to ensare their victims by using such tatics and then showering them with praise. It must work more than we would like to believe because they keep using the same tatics.
There is no real emotional intelligence or maturity with such people if they cannot come out and state what they think and feel. This way you will be the one who wanted to date him so any disappointments is your fault; you asked for it.
And last but not least...love you? Sure. How did you meet him? How many other relationships had he had? How did they end?
Girls who are respectable? That he can call other girls skanks; again a low view and assigning them unfavorable terms is not a good thing.
That wasn't the most romantic phrase to use and in it is no hope of love in it's purest form-his msn statement was a darker, twisted view of it.
Heebie jeebies indeed.
...............................
A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (25 September 2007):
He might like you. If I were you though, I'd proceed with caution if you decide to pursue this. You don't want to end up meeting a controlling, harassing, stalker. There is something that just rubbed off on me the wrong way when reading how his name changed while you were on with him. I'm not saying he's bad, but there's always that possibility.
...............................
|
