Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2010): hey, i'm going through the same thing
it's not easy
but i guess
maybe to keep thinking about it? maybe your relationship will be so special that you won't even mind losing your virginity to someone who isn't your husband.
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (8 October 2010):
 If he is willing to give you up, or he looses interest in you... He can still loose interest in you even after you have had sex!
If he was really there for you you shouldn't even have to be scared of loosing him, because you would know he'd be by your side. But you don't know, you are scared he will leave. And that fear will STILL be there, even if you have sex with him. And if he leaves you AFTER you have had sex with him, it will be so much worse.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThats part of my fear too...
That when a guy gets everything that he wants --sex
He will lose interest in the girl =(
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2010): After he has everything, that the time he gets bored w everything...
I've learn that from the last relationship...
I was a virginity when i came to him... He told me sex doesnt matter and he still love me without sex but always pressured me bout it... I had refused so manytimes then oneday i was scared that im gonna lose him when i saw girls around him and he hang out everynite without me... I was so stupid... all i wanted was keep him by myside... and i gave him. For seven months being in relationship, after he got me... he leaved to Japan cause its so much more interesting!!!
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A
female
reader, xanthic  +, writes (7 October 2010):
 It's your choice what you do with your body, not his. He's too busy thinking of himself and his own wants to realize there's more to the relationship than that, and that you have a mind and opinion too. Unfortunately he's always going to pressure you, even if he says he respects your decision. Turn things around and tell him if he doesn't stop, you'll be the one to break up with him!
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A
female
reader, charliesdevil73 +, writes (7 October 2010):
 It doesn't matter what anyone thinks about your choice. It's the choice you have made and you should be proud that you have been strong enough to withhold for this long. If he keeps pressuring you or even pulls the "I'll leave you if you don't sleep with me" line, then he is not worth your time and love. Best of luck.
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A
female
reader, sweetkisses-143 +, writes (5 October 2010):
 If he loves you, and is worth the title of being your husband, then he can wait. People get disappointed all the time. He'll get over it. If he doesn't then he didn't deserve it to begin with.
If he loves you, it will probably be hard for him, but he'll understand. You have morals, be proud of that! Maybe there is something else you would be willing to do depending on what your definition of sex is?
Maybe find a happy medium until the big day? I will tell you from experience I had sex before I was married. The fact whether I married him doesn't matter. Because if I hadn't then thats a gift I wouldn't have been able to give to my husband.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2010): You've made the right choice. You should save it for marriage. If your boyfriend can not respect that then I'm afraid he's not a good friend of yours. A good friend would understand your feelings about this matter and will never push you into it.
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A
female
reader, chigirl +, writes (5 October 2010):
You don't have to break up with him. You just have to have the firmness to say "no". If you really want to end it, but can't do it yourself, have a friend come with you when you break up with him.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2010): i think u made the right choice (: its best to save urself till marrige. if ur boyfriend cant wait then it shows he might just want the sex. im not sayin he doesnt love u for u bt maybe thats wat he wants. if he doesnt respect that u want to wait then he isnt worth losin ur virginity to. and if u have sex wit him because he wants it bt u dont then ur basicly being pressured into havin sex n u wont have the best 'first time' experience. bt wen u really love someone such as when ur married u will hv the best sex experience ever.. so im told :P
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI know how things can be rationally correct that is to reject him but on the other hand, I lack the firmness to break off with him because of this issue. Easier said than done
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A
female
reader, chigirl +, writes (5 October 2010):
I think you made the right choice, and you need to marry a man who has the same values as you. If your boyfriend doesn't want to wait until marriage then he doesn't have the same values as you have.
If this is important to you then you should stick to it. And as mentioned by others, if you have sex with him now it would only be because you are pressured, and not because you actually want to, so it would be for the wrong reasons. No one should pressure you into having sex with them.
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A
male
reader, Cccc  +, writes (5 October 2010):
 YES you are making the rite choice! IF he cant respect that then maybe you should end it!
Trust me YOUR morals shines like GOLD lady and if I would ever find a woman that says that to me I would marry her cause just a pretty are not enough!Morals are what its all about!
Now dont get married just so you can have it broken :) heheh
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A
female
reader, Sunnyxx  +, writes (5 October 2010):
 Stick to your morals and values, or you may end up regretting it.
If he is worth marrying down the line, he will understand and not try to leave you. If he does try to leave you over sex... was he really worth it?
Good luck. xx
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A
female
reader, VenussuneV +, writes (5 October 2010):
I agree with Vintage! And to add 2 cents: If he cannot respect your morals and values, is he worth your virginity?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2010): It doesn't matter what we think, if saving your first time for marriage, is what you want to, then do it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2010): I faced the same issue on his end. I compromised with my gf...after all im not a hard guy to pls lol. Most men will compromise on something other than sex. Its important both parties are satisfied and if no agreement can be reached its only logical for things to break off. Do not give in as you may regret especially since u feel pressured. Best to u ;)
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age
36-40,
anonymous
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