A
female
age
26-29,
*rgirl
writes:I gave my ex boyfriend one chance after he cheated on me with one of my friends. When he cheated,we had been together for a year and three months . He lasted a whole year trying to get back with me; I was really hard to qet back and i thouqht it over a thousand times and i ended up qivin it a try. Now we have 6 months since we got back together and everything was going perfect ,but lately we've been arguing alot and ive asked him to stop talking to his ex because ive heard rumors of him flirting with her (since they are in the same class together daily). Well, yesterday one of my friends coincidently asked to borrow his ex's phone and saw a call from my boyfriend. So i go and check my boyfriends phone ,and there is no call to her which means he deleted it. I confronted him and told him i knew he kept talking to her ,and he said he did speak to her ,but that only in class for homework or something ,but he said they dont speak through the phone. I asked him like 3 times, are you being honest with me? and he said yes (straight lied in my face). So i told him i knew everything and i knew that he called her yesterday and that i found out what a freaken liar he was and told him i didnt want to talk to him; the whole time he was like let me explain it was for a homework ,and i didnt want you to get mad.I kept telling him i dont want to talk you. Its been 2 days since we dont talk. Right now i have no idea what to do! Should I break up with him ? and if I shouldnt what shall I do ? Im tired of arguing and stressinq myself! A side of me wants to just break up with him ,but a side of me loves him. and I dont know if breaking up with him would be the right decision. HELP ! Whats your advice ?!
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cheated on me, flirt, got back together, his ex, liar, my ex Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 October 2009): This sounds very stressful for you. It seems like you find it very hard to trust your boyfriend, which is understandable considering what has happened. The fact that he phoned his ex must have made you feel like he is up to his old games. I can't say for certain whether he is flirting with his ex again...or whether he really was telling the truth, and that it was about homework. He may have deleted the call because he knew it would upset you.
If you are having serious doubts about being with him, then it might be best to just move on, especially as this is making you very stressed. It may be that you will never feel able to really trust him again. You seem to have convinced yourself that he is lying, and that he is trying to be with his ex again. No matter what he said to you, you don't believe him. You don't trust him. As I said before, that is understandable. But it isn't the good basis for a relationship.
If you decided not to break up with him, then he needs to understand that you are feeling very vulnerable at the moment, and that the idea of him talking to his ex bothers you. He should try to understand your feelings about that, and respect them. Meanwhile, you will have to try and learn to trust him again. It may be hard, and it will take time. But I think that will be the only way. Other than that, you could decide to move on. It is your decision to make.
Do what you feel is right for you, and try not to get too stressed. You are still very young, and you should be trying to enjoy yourself! So do whatever is best for you. Take care. x
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