A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I simply want your opinion on the following scenario. Your bf [who has in the past broken your trust issues and met up with an ex behind your back]allows a different ex gf to come to his state, stay over night and generally hang out because she's sad. She hasn't spoken to him in absolutely ages, but because she's sad and newly single, she's called upon him. As the gf, how would you feel?
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2010): It's disrespectful and selfish of him to do something like that. He is NOT considering your feelings at all! If the tables were turned, he woudldn't like it...i'd bet my very last doller on that one honey. If he doesn't understand why you're upset, then you need to leave him a lone. He might say, "Ok" but if he doesn't really want to he will just be a little more sneakier with it next time and you will never know it happened! Most likely, they did sleep together...I mean, especially since she is his ex and they have slept together before and it has been a while since they had done it!
A
male
reader, steph007  +, writes (13 December 2010):
I would feel sad :))
And if he invited me in the same way like this ex was invited, then I would say that this guy is very warm hearted, and helpful, maybe nice. But not amenable for a closed (restricting) relationship.
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A
female
reader, perch +, writes (13 December 2010):
I would be very concerned and downright angry. It could be understandable if he had been friends with this girl and spoke to her often. Its the fact that they haven't spoken and now he's being her shoulder to cry on? If I was you, I would put my foot down.
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A
female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (13 December 2010):
 If I were the girlfriend I would not be happy about it at all and would be considering breaking up with him. It is not acceptable to have an ex over to your house to stay, especially one that you are not in frequent contact with and is newly single.
If this ex was a good friend of his, someone who he talks to frequently and has always been in touch with - then it would be a different matter because he would have just been a good friend to invite her over when she is feeling down.
However when he has broken your trust in the past, and now invites a newly single ex who he does not speak to often to his house - this is completely out of order.
Presuming this is your boyfriend you are talking about - clearly he cannot be trusted, and does not care about you enough to take the time to earn your trust. He values his ex's above you - time to move on I think. Inviting sad, lonely single ex girlfriend's over to your house and having them stay the night - there is no way on earth his intentions could have just been 'friendly'. If he really cared about you he would never in a million years invite her to his house, he clearly has no respect for you and prefers to rekindle the past with old flames rather than working on his current relationship.
This guy is not mature enough for a serious relationship, has no respect for you and only cares about himself - definitely not boyfriend material. You will be doing yourself a huge favour if you got rid of him!
I hope this helps and good luck!
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A
female
reader, Mjfbla +, writes (13 December 2010):
 I would kinda be like WTF. Thats extremely strange that he would do that and I would want to know what was going on. Your bf must be the nicest guy in the world to take a girl into his home that he supposedly hasnt talked to in years because she is sad. Id like to know why that is his problem? Id be confused, frustrated and slightly pissed. How would he like it if you did that with an x?
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