A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:A few days ago me and a girl made things official, she's my first girlfriend even though i'm mid twenties, so i'm very nervous about things but we have been getting on so well and chatting everyday for the last three months. She has been through some issues recently and i've been there for her which i think she appreciates, but she's had doubts about whether this relationship is something i want as she thinks she's a burdon on me. Obviously this is not what i think but she's been really shy and even though we are now official we haven't properly kissed without her seeming awkward. Then today i think maybe be felt a little more comfortable and i think she was implying for things to move. But it hit me by surprise and i've just realised how terrified i am of the physical side of this relationship.i've come realise that I had the comfort blanket of the fact that she was not too full on and that we were taking things slow. But now she admits that it was weird it took so long for us to hook up and she was wrapping her legs around me, pulling my fingers towards her mouth and had her midriff on show while hovering my hands around her chest, I couldn't even bring myself to touch her breasts. I wasn't expecting this to be so difficult. The atmosphere kind of got weird then- she turned from the shy sweet girl i know, to a bit full on and intimidating (the old " you know what big feet mean don't you" etc...) and i didn't know what to do and i really got the feeling she thought 'you're not a real man' and i think she may really be put off after everything went weird and tension built. It's pretty weird that we're calling each other bf and gf and i can't even touch her without backing out, isn't it? I think the fact that she won't look me in the eyes and kiss me properly threw me off when she started insinuating more. This is the first time i've maybe had doubts about us. are we not compatible or am i just running away because it's my first relationship? i really need help as i don/'t want to ruin this. Please, any comments and advice would be sooo appreciated! thank you!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2008): From what you wrtoe I think it's safe to say her sudden aggression threw you out of your comfort zone.
That's alright. Now you know she's a sexual woman. A side of her she hasn't felt comfortable enough to show you until now. I don't think this one akward moment proves that the two of you are imcompatible.
I say you try to take her by surprise, just as she took you by surprise. Take yourself by surprise. Do everything that feels out of character and weird to you. Do things you've seen on T.V. and in videos. Be manly, and masculine. Grab her and kiss her without asking, without notice.
Maybe you'll find you like it.
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