A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:On a night out with some friends I met a friend of a friend at a bar, he said that I was welcome to go along with them back to his house, to make things clear lets call my friend s and the accuaintance a, we'll we got to a,s house and we had a bit of a party, my friend s got really drunk and wanted to go down to sleep so he did, it was a bunk bed so I went to sleep on the top bunk where no one was,While I was sleeping I heard a scream, a,s girlfriend shouted out that s had assaulted her very inappropriately in her sleep, as a his gf and s were all in the same bed together, then a,s gf came up to my bunk and put a blanket round me and said 'I trust you' now that made me feel very very awkward and weird, yes it was sweet at first but then I realised that she has a bf, she claims to have been harmed by my friend s. a then woke up and said that his gf wants to sleep now and that she should feel safe and that by s being in the room she no longer feels safe that s is the roomS said that the best thing to do was to leave, he got his things together and said that i should leave to, then a,s gf made it clear that I had done nothing wrong and that I was welcome to stay and she wanted me to stay. Anyway I left as I felt very awkwardThe questions I have to ask is 1) is it recommended or not recommended that I get in touch with a and his gf again or should I just let things be 2) how would u explain the way that a,s gf had reacted could it be possible she was attracted to me. 3)how would the agony aunts here deal with this situation, Part of my instinct is telling me to keep away from a,s gf as she sounds like trouble and is bad news.
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female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (2 September 2013):
 I'd keep clear of them and not have any 'parties' after a long night out. People act very oddly when they are full of alcohol. Is it possible there were other mood-altering substances involved?
Yeah, not such a good thing, I'd just drop it and not spend the night after a big night out with them.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2013): I found this whole post hard to understand.Are you saying that A's girlfriend responded to being inappropriately assaulted by screaming and then getting into bed with you? (rather than seeking help from her boyfriend who was in the same room?) She then wanted you to stay (even though you are the friend of her assailant and not a particularly good friend of hers)That does strike me as strange behaviour. She may well be the kind of girl who uses drama to get attention. She might have behaved that way to get close to you or possibly to get a rise out of her boyfriend.She may also have been telling the truth....your friend S may have inadvertantly groped her in his drunken sleep and she was drunk, sleepy and confused from having just woken up (but you were there so you'd be a better judge of whether she sounded confused or distressed)Either way I would stay as far away from A and his girlfriend as possible. They are aquaintances not your friends - that's how I'd deal with it
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (2 September 2013):
 Yikes, I think I would (next time) decline the offer to sleep at their place.
I don't think your friend S harmed the GF - I think she just didn't want to share the bed. If all she did was climb in bed with you without being MORE upset I just don't see her telling the truth. I think.. that she wanted to make her BF jealous and YOU were the scapegoat in that.
What a bunch of drama-llamas.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (2 September 2013):
 The whole thing would be clearer with correct punctuation.
a's house as supposed to a,s house. a's gf as supposed to a,s gf.
"as a his gf and s were all in the same bed together"
All three are together in the same bed.
The four people in the story. You, a, a's gf and s.
Is there no couch one of the guys you could have slept on?
The twin bunk bed with 4 people situation is just inviting trouble.
Since s is your friend and a is just an acquaintance, you should ask s if he really assaulted her. By your post you are suggesting that a's girlfriend was using an excuse to get close to you, and she would care less that your friend's character was ruined. It is not recommended you keep in touch with A and his girlfriend. That night A's gf's behavior made the least sense. I would not say it's all her fault. S was stupid enough to cram into a twin bed with two people already in there. Apparently he was the last one to crawl in there. She got annoyed with the crowdedness and used this as an advantage to stir up some trouble.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2013): Sounds like a nuthouse to be honest. I think go with your instinct that they're a bit messed and leave A and his gf to it... What can you do? It's weird behaviour for her particularly, guessing they were all probably quite drunk, high or whatever to for the three of them to sleep together... Whatever weird stuff they A and his gf have going on, don't concern yourself with it. I would keep a cool distance and be civil/ friendly if I saw them again. How well do you know S? Is he a good friend? I would definitely want to clear the air if he was a regular contact, and just ask him what was all that about? Is he into drugs or anything? You knew that he had a bit of a wild partying side to him? See what he says and listen to your gut. If his behaviour or habits make you uncomfortable, then distance yourself accordingly. Or if you want to give him the benefit of the doubt, it's your call. You're an adult and don't have to maintain contact with anyone you don't want to. One thing I will say is that they sound like hard party people, and that's not such a good thing. Any hard regular substance abuse exacerbates any existing problems and leads you down a dark road... I know. I wish you all the luck in the world and listen to your head haha! X :)
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