A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:i have been close friends with a beautiful woman 29 yrs old for 2 years now. i let it slip because of a situation that came up, that i have been in love with her. all was fine till that moment. she said she felt very awkward and i think she is seeing someone else as well. my birthday was sept 29 and that revelation was sat morn 9/25. she sent me a text on tue stating how she felt about issues such as jealousy etc after i had initially apologized for the surprise and timing. then she asked where i wanted to go for my bday dinner etc. when i saw her for dinner, no hug just a emotionless happy bday. she had the nerve to mention this friend of hers over dinner. when we went to my place for cake she got me, she complained that the forks were not sparkling clean. she did not offer to pay for dinner, no card, no gift. felt so unappreciated. the next day she texted me me that she hoped i was having a wonderful post birthday lol. why couldnt she have said that on my birthday itself, and i have never been wished a wonderful post bday and then when she added lol, i thought she was being sarcastic and cruel. i want to ask her about it next time i see her in person only next week. she is out of town i think with that male friend of hers. how should i handle that text i took as sarcastic re my birthday? your consideration of my dilemna and response is much appreciated. signed trying to save my sense of self respect
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male
reader, annonamous  +, writes (9 October 2010):
Im really soory I commented on the wrong post
A
female
reader, angelalb +, writes (9 October 2010):
Sounds like to me she was acting like you wernt on an official date like boyfriend and girlfriend. Even though you like her that way it sounds like she doesnt feel the same. Maybee she doesn't want to hurt your feelings so that is why she hasnt said anything. You need to ask her what you and her relationship is via friends and so fourth good luck.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (9 October 2010):
 If you asked her to have dinner with you for your birthday you cannot complain that she did not pick up the check or pay for anything.
If she asked you out to dinner for your birthday she should have paid.
I feel this is an important point because it would give a basis to whether she viewed you as a friend, or something else.
If she viewed you as a friend, your declarations of love could have been a surprise but maybe she felt the polite thing to do, as a friend, would be to carry through with previous plans for a birthday dinner.
I think your disappointment at your declaration of love not being well received has caused you to view her text the next day as less than the friendly message it was intended to be.
And, because she is not in a relationship with you, whether she is away with another man or not is none of your business.
On the other hand, if the birthday dinner was suggested by her, and she invited you out, and in view of the more than 10 year age gap, maybe her intentions are less than friendly.
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A
male
reader, annonamous +, writes (9 October 2010):
It sucks to hear but yes.... she has 2 other dudes involved and that can only lead to pain in your heart after rejection.
I'm not really one to talk because I have my own problem right here on site. Based on the advice I have been given this girl seems to be playing with you and it sucks because you cant get it off your mind.
Give it time and if she comes back talk to her and tell her how you feel. I can tell you feel deeply for this woman and once you clarify you can either move on with her or without her.
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A
male
reader, Manofathousendlies +, writes (9 October 2010):
 To me it sounds like she is just trying to be a normal friend like you would meet everyday. The best way to be for sure is simple, all you have to do is text her bacl and find out. While she is out of town go ahead and send her that text. It's alot easier doing this then asking her face to face. That way it takes away all of the pressure. If she is just being sarcastic then all is well and you can move on with this relationship with wherever you wish to take it.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (9 October 2010):
 I beg to differ with Aunty Bim Bim. All the signs of rejection are there. I don't think you should try to be in contact with this woman anymore.
There is a sure way to know what she wants: don't try to talk to her anymore. If she comes back, treat her as a friend. If she wants more, she will let you know.
But, in all honesty, I doubt she will return.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim +, writes (9 October 2010):
I need a little more information, had you asked or suggested the birthday dinner or her? I feel this is an important point.
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