A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My husband has been messing with my head for eight years telling me I'm big down there and him is small. However he's 5.5 to 6 inches, and today at the gyno I finally had the courage to ask and she said, I'm not big, just average, down there width wise ("I can fit two fingers in there snugly" lubed), and "definitely not big" lengthwise (later today I determined my 3 and 1/8 inch middle finger can touch the tip of my cervix with a tiny bit of length to spare). But for eight years I've wondered if I'm too big due to I've only ever been with my husband and never had anyone else's opinion, and it turns out that his opinion is warped on both counts (his organ and mine). So here's my question, is it mostly men that are this warped about genital size, or are many women like this too? Is a big percentage of the population obsessed with genital size like my husband (men and women), or not really? Needing perspective. I was relieved what I found out today, but at the same thing angry enough at my husband to want to "bash his head in" for lack of a better figure of speech, due to the hell he has made me go through and his conviction that I cheated on him (which I didn't), and his making me feel like something was wrong with our sexual compatibility until I finally learned to have unassisted orgasm over a year ago. Even now he doesn't believe me when I say I had a good orgasm. Men, are you all this messed up in the head about genital size? Women, are YOU? My husband had me as a virgin and I had no issue with my genital size before he started to obsess about it and it rubbed off on me... But now even though I've been told I'm average, I still wish I was smaller, just so I could please my husband, (though relieved to be called "average)...
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2010): Guys feeling insecure about there size at one point or another is common, unless thy are big and know it. He is not big, but not small. He is average. That's a fact. If he pleasures you, he should be fine with it.Now, vagina size...I could never understand why men think some women are loose when they're really not, or why they care anyway. I actually prefer a little loose. Things slide easier, and I like softer sensations on it. But thats me. I've only ever been with one woman that was very loose, but she was a big girl and had kids. She seemed to like my size just fine even though the fit wasnt very tight, well, she came several times. I don't want to be too explicit, but I liked the way it felt "open" past the entrance. Didn't make it any harder for me to finish, so I dont know why men complain...it's all good. But everyones different. Maybe he needs to go to your gyno. Last post I remeber on this subject, I suggested the same thing. SOme guys are VERY ignorant about the female anatomy. Seems he is ignorant about his a bit too.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2010): Your husband really does sound MESSED UP IN THE HEAD! is he right or what? i mean he's your husband he shouldnt b acting like this. hes jus insecure seriously. Maybe he needs help? Theres nothing wrong with you dont let him put you down!
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A
male
reader, Yos  +, writes (1 October 2010):
 It sounds to me like your husband has a bunch of insecurities around sex. The size of his penis being one of them, and also some performance anxiety.
He's trying to blame as much of this on you as his conscience will let him, but in reality it's all going on in his own head.
It's not for you to change to please your husband. It's for your husband to admit his insecurities and work on them. Don't let him pin this on you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2010): Original poster: geez jmtmj, how in the world does a girl find a guy that genuinely possesses the awesome attitude that you are displaying in your answer? Because that's the attitude I went into my relationship with. And my husband just completely took it and every beautiful thing I gave him, and choked it to death with his insecurity and fear. Is that kind of an attitude even possible to maintain as we age, in the world we live in, wasn't it just something that I possessed only as a young girl before the world (my husband) hurt me? Because I no longer want to be hurt by continuing to believe that "adults" can actually feel that way, if its not actually true...
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A
male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (1 October 2010):
 It makes me sad how so many people are always comparing themselves to others and what the media/advertising "suggest" we should be like. Am I normal, am I too fat, am I too short, am I too tall, am I ugly... it just goes on an on... Why worry about the things you can't change? And if you have such a problem with an issue that you can't accept and that you can change, then instead of letting it drag you down forever simply put in the effort to change it!
Genital size is just the most ridiculous insecurity when you think about it... not only is it something that very few people will ever see but its something that you can't change. So why worry? Not to mention that if you're with someone who cares about you and isn't just after sex,then they've obviously fallen for qualities that you have- regardless of what you have in your pants and most likely won't even notice/care if they like you enough anyways.
I'm not trying to belittle peoples insecurities because I've had many in my time and I know how much they suck. It just makes me sad that some people can't just have fun, enjoy who they are and what they have, without first checking out who their neighbors are, what they have and how much fun they're having... Its all in your own head.
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A
female
reader, DanceInTheDark  +, writes (1 October 2010):
 Honestly, your husband sounds a bit messed up. He sounds incredibly insecure, and bordering on emotionally abusive. Is he like this in other aspects of your life?
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