A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am very worried about teens sex education.I am from the UK and our sex education is very good. Girls only get pregnant because they want to or because contraception fails or they are just too stupid to use contraception.Some of the questions I've seen on here and around from teens in other countries, especially the US worry me.Questions like"We've been having shallow sex but without breaking my hymen, that means I'm still a virgin right?""We came on my tummy, I washed it off in the shower. Could it still have gone in my vagina and got me pregnant?""My period is two days late and my boyfriend fingered me after rubbing his penis. Am I pregnant?""I didn't bleed when I had sex for the first time. Does that mean I'm still a virgin?""We had anal sex an he came in me. Could the sperm drip down to my vagina and make me pregnant?""We dry humped with our clothes on and after i had some spotting. Have I lost my virginity?""We didn't use a condom. Why aren't I pregnant?""Can I get pregnant from giving head then he fingers me?""I was drunk when we had unprotected sex. Could the alcohol stop me from getting pregnant?""I'm on the pill so he said the we didn't have to use a condom. Can the pill kill off any diseases?""His cum dripped out after we had sex for the first time. Does that mean I still have my hymen and I'm still a virgin?"Am I the only one who is worried about this? All of these questions seem ridiculous to ask. Are there still schools teaching abstinence is the only way?I'm concerned for the parents of these teenagers. Are they not teaching their children sex ed or they unaware that they are not being taught it properly in schools?
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anal sex, condom, drunk, hymen, lost my virginity, period, sperm, still a virgin, the pill, unprotected sex, vagina Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2010): I didn't really answer to start a debate. I agree with you on the sex ED thing but your original tone of calling teens that get pregnant stupid isn't going to solve anything or do any good.
I know a ceo of a company that got pregnant at 16, she's a millionaire now and far from stupid, and I can safely say that all the girls I know who had kids young, say it was a mistake but not a stupid one because they have a beautiful child now.
If you're so worried about it then start educating them yourself, volunteer with your local parish or youth group, start a facebook group, or lobby your local politician for change but remember a lot of the girls that get pregnant at that age don't even attend school.
I don't remember saying that the pull out method was better condoms. All I remember is you saying "lack of sense to use contraception." contraception isn't 100% effective either. Even abstinence isn't 100% if you believe the bible.
FYI: the numbers are falling. http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/education/8531227.stm A very interesting article actually.
Plus more women in their 40's are having children now than teenagers.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionDisadvantages;
* requires great self-control, experience, and trust
* is not for men who ejaculate prematurely
* is not for men who don't know when to pull out
* is not recommended for teens and sexually inexperienced men because it takes lots of experience before a man can be sure to know when he's going to ejaculate.
This Question was referring to TEENAGERS. So any data you provide regarding to the pull out method is not relevant.
Even if a man pulls out in time, pregnancy can still happen. Some experts believe that pre-ejaculate, or pre-cum, can pick up enough sperm left in the urethra from a previous ejaculation to cause pregnancy. If a man urinates between ejaculations before having sex again, it will help clear the urethra of sperm and may increase the effectiveness of withdrawal. - Pre-cum doesn't just sit in the urethra, it comes out during sex.
Pregnancy is also possible if semen or pre-ejaculate is spilled on the vulva.
Keep in mind that the withdrawal method does NOT protect you from sexually transmitted diseases. Use a latex condom or female condom to reduce the risk of infection.
Thanks for providing me with the information to argue that the pull out method IS NOT better than condoms.
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2010): http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coitus_interruptus
http://www.plannedparenthood.org/health-topics/birth-control/withdrawal-pull-out-method-4218.htm
Actually OP when done properly it's very effective and of course there have been studies.
Condoms are 98% effective. Coitus interruptus is 96% effective. Both of these are under the assumption that it's done correctly.
Not too much of a difference, it's not recomended for teens because the potential for doing it wrong is higher.
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionCereburus..
"they got pregnant because the guy didn't pull out or they were drunk and just really wanted sex. But even then it's because the guy didn't pull out, even though he'd pulled out every other time"
This is the stupidity I am talking of. Mistakes, whatever they are, happen because either the boy or girl has a lack of sense to use contraception. Or get so irresponsibly drunk that they don't even think of it. And pulling out?! That hardly justifies itself as a method..I don't know where you are getting your information from. I cant imagine there have been any clinical studies comparing using condoms to pulling out.
I wasn't actually blaming teenagers for getting pregnant, although a lot of them deliberately do..I am blaming whatever system their school has which hasn't educated them enough.
I myself had PSHE lessons, one hour a week for 2 years in senior school. I just assumed that all schools in England had to have the same because it was part of the mandatory curriculum.
ivanichiaynus - Sadly what you say is very true. I hope that our new government will crack down on this situation.
DrPsych - I wasn't aware that the rest of England didn't have the excellent sex ed my school had. We did genital warts, condoms on bananas, watching a birth videos, looking after a mechanical baby and all. It is sad that other people don't get to experience the same level of education.
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female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (15 November 2010):
 Sex education is anything but good in the UK. We have the highest rate of teenage pregnancy in the whole of the European Union. Sex education doesn't need to be about the 'birds and the bees' or something mumbled quickly by the biology teacher. It needs to be a '[genital] warts and all' account of the full horror of teenage pregnancy. The only people able to do this are teen mothers. They are the only credible source of information on the horrors of 24 hour labour, the sleepless nights, not being able to sit down on those stitches for 2 weeks, putting on 3 stone, getting piles and infant colic. However, due to misfounded professional ethics there are few schools that let young girls walk in the do the talk in a credible way. Most teenage mothers will tell you that they didn't want to get pregnant - they mistake sex with love. When they do want a baby it is because their own family have not made them feel loved and wanted - they believe a child will love them unconditionally. They often come from family backgrounds which are less than ideal. I don't think many teenage girls get up in the morning and think I shall conceive today to get my benefits. Bringing up a kid on an ASBO estate on the poverty line isn't all its cracked up to be in the right-wing press. It is quite brave to raise a child alone at the age of 15 as it effectively means you are putting your own adolescence on hold. I agree that some of the questions about basic sex education that pop up on dearcupid are worrisome. However, there is a lot of misinformation circulated in the community and lack of basic medical knowledge in the population as a whole on all sorts of subjects. The girls asking these questions - regardless of their country of origin - are a fine example of how some people just slip through the net when it comes to sex education. It is sad that they are engaging in sexual practises that they don't understand the consequences of. It also suggests that lots of young women are pressurised into sexual acts that they are not emotionally ready for. They express this by asking anxious questions about the possibility of pregnancy.
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A
female
reader, fi_the_tree +, writes (15 November 2010):
 I've worked as a TA for a number of years now. In most secondary schools i've been in, they do cover sex education in PSHE lessons, including other life skills and lessons, like drug abuse and personal hygeine etc.
The sex ed lessons i sat in with my classes were generally very good, the kids didn't think it was a joke at all and asked really relevant questions and made good points and observations.
With regards to the question of how children are taught, i was lucky enough to be able to talk about it with my mum alot, and we shared some really useful talks...
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male
reader, ivanichiaynus +, writes (15 November 2010):
 OP, your comment "girls only get pregnant because they want to rings so true. We have a category of women/young girls known as "pram-faces" - girls who deliberately get pregnant as a career move so that they can apply for a council flat, free and/or heavily subsidised and live off benefits.
They neiother know or care about the father, so long as the State, i.e. the rest of us, pay for her.
I KNOW that I am going to get flamed for this as some may find it hard to believe, but please, before you do, take a look at the DHSS areas in any town or city and see how many teenagers pushing prams you can find, without rings on the appropriate finger.
Until we stop this easy route to a guaranteed house and income, teenage pregnancies will continue to proliferate.
Ivan.
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A
female
reader, LilPixie +, writes (15 November 2010):
 I don't know what school you went to but sex education here in the UK is anything but good. In the whole of secondary school we only had one lesson on it and it really wasn't a very good one.
But yeah, you're right, sex education does need to be taken a lot more serious. There have been a lot of discussions of whether sex ed should be taught in schools or if it's something that the parents are responsible for. I know that some parents have said they don't want their children to be taught about it in school (who knows why) and I know that some parents are actually embarrassed to talk to their kids about sex. There will also be a lot of parents who won't have had sex ed at school themselves so they won't actually be able to talk to their children about it properly either so really it only makes sense for it to be taught in schools, but try telling the government that...
"our sex education is very good"... The UK has the highest teenage pregnancy rating in Europe so sex education here really can't be that good! Contraception here may be free but what good is that if teens aren't taught how to use it or even what different methods there are.
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2010): I agree sex ed is woefully lacking. But you're wrong about saying "Girls only get pregnant because they want to or because contraception fails or they are just too stupid to use contraception." There is such thing as a mistake you know, most of the girls that I know that got pregnant young, knew about all these things, were very well versed in it. But they got pregnant because the guy didn't pull out or they were drunk and just really wanted sex. But even then it's because the guy didn't pull out, even though he'd pulled out every other time.
It happens to most of us, mistakes I mean. It's very easy to get carried away when you're having sex and that's even moreso the case for teenagers. Myths about sex will always be there, even though they're told the facts in school, schools don't get into the nitty gritty of it all. Girls hear their peers talking about sexual myths like it works that way for them and they listen to their peers. You have to remember teens are far more inclined to listen to their peers than adults.
It's not at all hard to convince a teenage girl something is true, plus if they're in love with a guy it's not hard for that guy to convince them to do things for him either. You can't just blame girls for getting pregnant. Especially seeing as studies show that the biggest cause of teen pregnancy is using the pull out method wrong. But studies also show that the pull out method might be almost as reliable as condoms.
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