Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 June 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYeah lol. Sorry. You deleted both our posts, which is probably a good thing.
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female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (29 June 2010):
 *cough*
Just checking to make sure everything is good in this neck of the woods?
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female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (28 June 2010):
 Well I don't care who you truly are, that taco thing just about knocked me off my chair...
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2010): shes a FEMALE !!!!!!katie holmes....am i close?
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female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (28 June 2010):
Okay, I can live with that, no one knows where Jimmy is either.
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the question*tongue out*
Nobody will ever know.
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male
reader, dirtball +, writes (28 June 2010):
 Yo mama...
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female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (28 June 2010):
Jimmy Hoffa?
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionSomebody on DC has to know who I am.
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2010): oh go ahead nobodys reading this thread anyway...just us....hahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahhaha
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionJust realized that may have sounded rude/sarcastic. But I wasn't trying to be. No more questions. You have three guesses who it is.
Yes, emphasis on ER, eyes.
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female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (28 June 2010):
Don't tell him don't tell him it will drive him crazy...ER craziER
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionNot totally good with the idea of posting that for everyone to know about.
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI don't live in CA and yes we've PMed.
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAbsolutely. I have nothing to hide here.
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell.. just double checked and.. yup! I'm all taco :)
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWiping after a greasy poop?
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionJust can't get rid of it ;)
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female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (28 June 2010):
I'm back like a bad penny
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionEYES! I missed you!!!
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female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (28 June 2010):
a little????
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYou're a little nutty :D
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 June 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionPeople get into such a ruckus over porn.
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female
reader, Philosophyzer +, writes (27 June 2010):
 As a female, I don't see why porn is so offensive! It is just a fantasy and a quick escape. I could see it becoming a problem if your partner is turning you away and preferring his digital partners instead, but lets be real. It's a pretty basic response for a man to get excited when seeing a naked female also excited. It's important for women to realize that the internet is a land of wet dreams and fantasy, but, in reality, he is with you. If women constantly act obsessed and paranoid when it comes to porn and the actresses within it, it won't do any good for your relationship. It will just show your lack of confidence. With my last boyfriend, I got into a discussion about porn and him watching it. He ended up telling me that most of the time he is either imagining the girl as me or thinking about how much he'd love to do whatever they are doing with me. Chances are, ladies, you might be on his mind... Even if you aren't the one on the screen. So, calm down! ;-)
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reader, Yos  +, writes (26 June 2010):
 Hah :)
But seriously, do a google image search for 'sexy fruit' and you'll see what I mean
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reader, Yos +, writes (26 June 2010):
I confess to having worked on Madison Avenue. We take advantage of evolutionary traits every day of the week.
Porn very much appeals to our genetic desires. It's absurd to say otherwise (assuming the theory of evolution is correct). The problem comes because of the change in environment between where we spent the last million years evolving and where we are now. Our specific sexual behaviour evolved whilst living in tribal nomadic groups of about 100 people, roaming the savannah with basic flint tools. The only 'porn' we had access to was funny shaped fruit. Now we have invented the means to instantaneously download infinite quantities of lifelike moving images + sound of any flavour of sexual act imaginable.
That discrepancy causes issues.
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2010): Saying it makes evolutionary sense doesn't really make it better. It sounds like you're saying women should be jealous from this, so we shouldn't put effort into trying not to do it. We don't follow evolutionary traits anymore. We pick women who don't show classic signs of being fertile as attractive now (fertile traits include a bit of excess fat especially around the wide hips thighs butt and stomach, and believe it or not, large breasts actually have nothing at all to do with fertility). Instead we pick skinny women with huge boobs. Evolutionarily a baby born deformed or that had problems would either die or would actually be killed. Also hair, especially pubes and underarms catch our pheromones to attract a mate. We get rid of most of that and slather on soap, deodorant, and perfume. I understand people like it (women respond to porn as much as men, there just isn't much out there for us), but please don't try to justify it evolutionarily. We've evolved past that.
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionClearly, you haven't seen Gilmore Girls.
LOL. Inside joke with my self
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionLol, i'm not critizing here boys.
I'm just wondering if there is anyone who doesn't or is morally opposed to it.
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2010): If I wanted to be tit-for-tat, I would just say "grow up" as many women here do when men have insecurities about womans sexual past.That said, I see this as something similar. I can see biologically why women would have trouble with men watching porn. Often women see it as a threat because their man is getting aroused by another womans body and sexual acts. If you look at it from an evolutionary perspective, it makes total sense. From a mans perspective - watching porn does not make us feel any different about our mates. But if it bothers them, we should make concessions to stop or make sure they dont see it. If you care about the person, no reason not to.
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reader, dirtball +, writes (25 June 2010):
I didn't post because I watch porn... I do it less if I'm in a relationship where I'm sexually satisfied. However, I've only ever had one gf who had a comparable sex drive. She actually started me watching porn. We used to watch it together.I think most guys watch porn. To most it's a harmless masturbation aid. Good luck with your tally. I'm thinking you're not going to find many...
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIt's unbelievable how many opinions branch off of this one subject. I guess the important thing is, that you find someone who shares at least somewhat, your opinion on the matter.
When a couple don't agree on it, it seems to cause a lot of problems. Obviously, my take on it seems a little extremme to most people, but I share it with my husband, so that it all that matters.
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reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (25 June 2010):
I'll tell you my take on this. I refuse to police the private thoughts of my man or any other man or woman. They are entitled to whatever fantasy they choose to engage in; I'm not the mommy having to make sure he's not up to something he shouldn't be, that's not my job.
If my man wants to indulge, in his own private time and in his own head, that has nothing to do with me. I don't feel threatened. He is entitled to his own privacy, I don't 'own' his sexuality or his body.
Obviously, I'm not married to a porn addict, nor is it a problem in the relationship at all. I don't police his activities on line. He doesn't collect images of naked women on his phone, nor do we have a stash of porno DVDs or anything like that. I guess I'm not worried about it. It doesn't arise as a problem and I'm not going to create one by questioning his every private thought.
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reader, Miamine  +, writes (25 June 2010):
 mmm... still no guys who have never looked at pornography, but one guy gave up because his wife didn't like it... intresting lack of response.
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionBoys are weird :D
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female
reader, person12345 +, writes (25 June 2010):
 Yos, no one would ever shoot you down. :)
That's really strange answering, "If it makes you feel better, I feel bad everytime I do it." Why do it then if it makes BOTH people feel bad? I wonder how many guys feel like that when their girlfriend has a problem with it.
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell, I really didn't force him. I just let him know that since we're in a relationship, I feel I should be enough and his addiction bothered me.
He once said to me; "I do it a LOT less often now... only every other day."
And I was thinking, if that's a ton less, how much did you do it??? Lol.
He also said to me "If it makes you feel better, I feel bad everytime I do it."
And I was thinking, it really DOESNT make me feel better that despite doing something i hate AND feeling bad about it, you still can't stop yourself.
We never really got in a fight over it, but I am delighted to have found someone who is not like that.
There was once I didn't sex my hub for two weeks because I had a period, and then we were having some troubles and fighting. He went to google and typed in "ass" to masturbate too, and couldn't even do it. He pushed ALT F4 before the screen came up because he felt so disgusted with himself.
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reader, Miamine +, writes (25 June 2010):
"Then when he did "stop," he instead rewound sex scenes in movies he owned."
Says it all really.. that's why it's useless to try to FORCE anyone to give up pornography..
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI respect a guy who stops once in a relationship.
My first bf simply refused to stop for about 6 months. Then when he did "stop," he instead rewound sex scenes in movies he owned.
No bullets from me :)
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male
reader, Yos +, writes (25 June 2010):
Answering this one might be more of a tails I win, heads you lose situation. But hey, I'll bite.
My opinion: I think all men 'like' porn. It's simply an animal reaction to be aroused by images of attractive naked women who are themselves sexually aroused. You may as well ask me not to be hungry when putting some delicious food in front of me. Even the most conservative guy who is against all forms of porn is going to get turned on if you force him to look at it.
The more interesting question is the role that porn plays in a relationship. Especially when it can supplant sex between the couple, which is usually when it becomes an issue, as visible on this site. The guy will turn to porn instead of his partner, whilst trying to act like everything is ok and instead accusing her of being paranoid or unreasonable or whatever.
My approach is fairly simple: when single I'll look at it if i feel like it, but in a relationship I'll (generally) avoid it.
Frankly, porn just doesn't compare to 'the real thing'. I'd much rather be having sex than watching others having sex. The only times I've resorted to porn to any significant degree in a relationship is when things have basically fallen apart. And that's never ended well. But I wouldn't blame porn for that, I'd blame other factors that led to sexual distance, and a shared failure for us to overcome them. The porn being a symptom rather than a cause.
Ok. Now shoot me down girls :)
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionLord knows the outter beings need more cats.
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female
reader, Miamine +, writes (25 June 2010):
Two guys answered... and the same two who always interact with this question... yep, says it all really... like Q said, men really have more important things to do.
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI wish you were able to understand it, olderthandirt, because it would make it so much easier for you to stop for your wife. But I am glad that you don't find those images more important than you wife.
For most women who are against it, i believe it's the insecurity of watching your man beat off to other women's bodies. Or just the knowledge of him doing it. For me, I believe that we are creaed with certain parts to be hidden from the outer world. (adam and eve had their leaves), and those parts should only be revealed to someone with whome you are in a relationship. I don't believe I have any business looking at any other man but my husband, because he is who I am committed with. I have no reason to veiw the secret body parts of anyone else, for those are not the bodies which I should be interacting with.
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reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (24 June 2010):
 I don't any more. I used to a lot but it seemd to bother my wife( I'll neve understand that) In order to keep her from being hurt by it, I gave up my vice. Too much invested(46 years) to just throw it away over images on a computer screen.
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female
reader, Miamine +, writes (24 June 2010):
Yes me to..... I have a feeling this is a problem some women have.. women (some) get bothered by porn, but men are not interested at all..
All porn questions end up with crying women, men are don't seem to feel the need to justify what they are doing..
The results don't surprise me, but I'm sill waiting for brave men to come along and tell it all.
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionNo men answered???
Tish,
Looking at naked women is not porn, but I include it my relevant thoughts because I believe it's a similar perversion (my choice of word, not universal).
Person,
My husband is actually that one who i've met who doesn't, so I'm good :)
I wish some guy would answer. lol.
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female
reader, Miamine +, writes (24 June 2010):
Good question, I too would like to know the answer.
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female
reader, person12345 +, writes (24 June 2010):
I can't speak from a man's POV, but I know quite a few who either don't like it, are morally opposed to it (as feminists), or like it but wouldn't watch while in a relationship. There are plenty who don't. Around 25-30% don't actually. If your boyfriend is watching and it's a non-negotiable I'm sure you can find one who's willing to not watch or who just doesn't.
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (24 June 2010):
Does looking at a naked woman count? Or is there a more specific definition of 'porn'?
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