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female
,
anonymous
writes: I was seeing this guy over Xmas and we stopped it because I was going through a messy marriage break up at the time. Recently he got in touch again and we started seeing each other which involved lots of good sex. Now he tells me he doesnt want to know me any more and 'doesnt like me enough' for a relationship. I feel like a used rag, should I really take this so personally? I tried emailing him and was reasonable but just got a 'DONT F-ING CONTACT ME AGAIN' reply. Why the hell did he bother getting in touch? Ugh. Im 34 he is 38. I definitely would never go back there again but what he said has definitely dented my confidence in a big way. Im a pretty adventurous person in bed, maybe I shouldn't be? Help!
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female
reader, DrPsych  +, writes (1 May 2006):
 Congratulations on being a tiger in the bedroom...most real men would love that, and it shows that you have more physical self confidence than most ladies even if you don't know it! It must be a tough time at the moment because you are in the middle of a marriage breakup and you have met someone with a personality disorder. I am so sorry to hear this, but I am your age and I have had my fair share of men-hassles in the past too so I do understand! Don't feel bad about what happened as it wasn't your fault - when a man says 'I don't like you enough to have a relationship' what he REALLY said was 'I don't like myself enough to have a committed relationship with an adult woman because I am messed up inside' (usually through family/ past relationship problems). You should look on the positive side of what this man has done as (a) he hasn't wasted too much of your time by trying to have a grown up relationship that he isn't capable of (thank god for small mercies!) and (b) experiences like this make you really grateful and contented when you meet a real gentleman who likes you for who you are - it sort of fine tunes your thinking on who you are looking for as a partner, how you would like to be treated and how to leave in the kerb those who are unwilling to meet your high standards. You are 34 years young, and there are plenty of men out there who would be glad to treat you right...get over this plonker, and move on being open to offers from new exciting men but also cautious not to jump into a full-on relationship straight away to give yourself time to figure out if they suit you or not. Good luck!
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (26 April 2006):
 Aw he's just another creep. Don't let the likes of him get to you. You go girl! You'll be jsut fine, I'm sure.
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A
male
reader, Yos  +, writes (26 April 2006):
 It sounds like he just doesn't want a relationship with you, but that has nothing to do with you being adventurous. Most men like a woman who is adventurous in bed, so stick to your ways, just find a man who will appreciate you.
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A
female
reader, princessdizzy +, writes (26 April 2006):
wow-he sounds like a really nice guy???i wouldnt change my ways because of a jerk like him, did you get complaints before? prob not,most guys would be delighted for such a confident partner. Seriously, what kinda guy would you rather please?
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