A
female
age
16-17,
Dony.J
writes:Im scared of my parents, they always freek out because i have a job that doesnt give me much hours and they keep presuring me to look for another job, but they shout at me and oncce my dad nearly turned voilent agains me, i was so scared i ran out of the house and stayed in a friends house for 3 days. Sometimes i wish for me to have a terminal illness to make my parents notice that somethings are more important than a job, like my education, i have imoortant exams coming up soon but they feel i need a job more than good grades. If i was ill they'd realise i have got feelings and that i'm a human being and not a creature who is on this planet to earn money, i want to make sure i have good qualifications and a good job in future, not a job now and live a boring life in future. Does the fact that i hope i had an illness mean im suicidle?Is my parents actions normal?Am i right, or are my parents??
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female
reader, Annalisa +, writes (24 March 2008):
 First of all, no, you're not suicidal: you just want your parents' love and attention.
Secondly, it is difficult for us to establish if your father's violent outburst might have been caused by your behaviour. Do you shout and swear at your parents?
Remember that parents usually want what they think is best for their kids. Depending on their own life experience, they might encourage you to do things you find don't make sense, but they love you!
Of course, if you're a serene and loving child, seek advice from relatives and maybe even the police. Some parents are abusive and they should not be.
But usually, even violent parents just want what's best for you. The best thing is to sit them down and discuss things calmly.
Explain your feelings about getting an education and ask them why they pressure you to work instead.
You're a family and you're all adults, so talk!
You could just look for a job that pays more, but still work the same hours.
Are they just saying you're in the wrong job, because maybe the pay is bad?
Try to see each other's points of view and find a compromise.
If you feel they don't love you, say so, calmly.
They might realise they've been putting too much pressure on you.
God bless you and good luck!
A
male
reader, LazyGuy  + ♥, writes (24 March 2008):
 It seems odd for parents to think a job at your age to be more important then grades and an education, diploma's are getting more and more important.
What are you studying? I am not to certain about the british education system but wouldn't you still be required to go to school and be dis-qualified from a lot of jobs?
Do they depend on your income? What about their own?
Violence against childeren is beyond excuse, if you feel endangered you should seek help. If violence ever happens go to the police at once and do not go back.
I think you need to talk with someone, like a school counciler, they will listen and might be able to help your parents see reason.
Whatever you do, do not runaway from home without a backup plan. To many teens run to the street in desperation when far better options are available if only they sought out help first.
The illness fantasy is a common enough kid thing, "If I am dead they will all be sorry". It is not being suicidal even though some people do attempt suicide to turn something like that fantasy into reality. That is why suicide is often a last ditch cry for help. But I don't think that applies to you yet.
I can't understand your parents logic, if what you are telling us is the whole story (sorry, but people are known to bend the facts to paint them in the best light) then they got some really screwed up priorities.
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