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Am I reading signals wrong from my ex?

Tagged as: Crushes, Dating, The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (31 August 2015) 2 Answers - (Newest, 31 August 2015)
A male United States age 22-25, *am Wilson writes:

After a long time of asking questions about my love life, this one really takes the cake. So to summarize my extremely long and currently non-existent love life: I used to have a huge crush on this girl that i had a connection with during high school but i never really went through with it.

I forgot about her in college and met my girlfriend back then,she told me that she could never really figure out what she saw in me, i wasn't the best looking guy around, not the most confident either, but we had a connection,but whenever we spent time together i kept thinking about my crush. This created a void between us which caused the relationship to be short-lived.

She told me that i was to passive in our relationship and was late trying too hard to win her back. She told me to stop asking and just respect her decision. Well this may come as a stupid move, but i never gave up, i needed my closure... i asked her friends, came knocking at her door, and made stupid romantic gestures nothing worked and i had no choice but to step off.

A few years later i started to go for my crush and found out she had no interest in me and was purposely leading me on. I felt so dumb wasting a good thing and was single for a long time.

So a few months back my ex...messaged me on facebook and congratulated me on my graduation. We had a short chat (she used smiley faces as punctuation marks) but i really had to cut it short because i know that this may not be right.

So here i am ... i dont know what to do... should i respect my ex's previous request to just give up...and that this was our closure or should i go for it again and treat this as another chance.

I have no clue what girls think and really need insight. I know that im not all that a great catch and im scared that maybe im just getting the wrong signals again. Can someone help?

View related questions: crush, facebook, my ex

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (31 August 2015):

Honeypie agony auntI'd say, start OVER - reset your "love-life" with someone new. Someone who doesn't hold your past against you or who didn't really want you.

Respect her request.

Hopefully you learned something from the relationship/crush.

1. a CRUSH is not a guarantee that the other person likes you back with the same intensity.

2. you should never have to "fight" for someone once they have walked away. It's pointless. Instead BE present, be attentive, be "there" for the person you are in a relationship with.

3. IF you have a crush on someone, get over that before dating, because a GF should not feel like she is competing for your attention and affections.

Leave the past, IN the past - move on.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2015):


As she was the one to initiate contact this time, I would say that you should carry that contact on if you wish. Just be friendly though and see where it goes. Don't rush anything and play it by ear, maybe you could just be friends this time, maybe it was a one off contact or maybe she would like something more. Only one way to find out, but go gently with no pressure.

Good luck

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