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Am I Playing Hard To Get?

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Question - (20 January 2012) 6 Answers - (Newest, 20 January 2012)
A age 41-50, * writes:

A guy I went out with twice texted me on the fourth day saying he had fun but he'll be out of town on business during the week. He asked to see me on the following weekend but we didn't say when, what time, etc. There was no other contact during the weekdays so when the weekend arrived and he had actually called I told him something's come up and I can't meet him. Am I being fair, I know that he should've at least made an effort to call a day or two in advance to confirm. Am I right or do I seem like I'm playing hard to get? Mind you, I told him I hate phone calls and a text would be fine, but then again he's only texted me once after our second date on day 4...?! help anyone, ta x

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (20 January 2012):

Honeypie agony auntI would have been "busy" too, washing my hair or some such.. *just kidding* I don't think he can have any expectations of you just holding your entire weekend open "just in case" he wants to do something, but I do agree with Tisha you could have asked if he had any day/time in mind.

Also, I don't see why during the week you couldn't have called hi.

It seems to be that he isn't all that into you - sorry :(

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A reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2012):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

I think so too, many thanks Tisha and eyeswideopen x

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A female reader, Tisha-1 United States +, writes (20 January 2012):

Tisha-1 agony auntOf course you can't block out your entire weekend on a vague message. Next time, I'd text back something like: "Sounds good, what night and time were you thinking so I can keep my calendar free?"

At this point, if you want to see him again, I think you could text or call him. "Sorry our schedules didn't mesh this weekend. Shall we try again and set a more specific date? Hope to see you soon!" Something like that.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2012):

I think it is fine to say you are busy, he can't expect you to keep a weekend free on the off chance. There is nothing wrong in not being available, as long as you implied another time would be great. If he wants to see you he will.

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A female reader, delightful84 United Kingdom +, writes (20 January 2012):

If he was keen he would have found time for you during the week to say a simple hello. Sounds like a user to me.

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (20 January 2012):

eyeswideopen agony auntI think you absolutely did the right thing. What did he expect, that you should leave your entire weekend open waiting to hear from him? Nuts to that, you taught him a lesson he needed to learn.

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