A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:A long time FWB had open heart surgery recently. I told him I would help with whatever I could when he gets home as he lives alone. His ex-wife stepped in and started filling up his refrigerator, took care of his cat, and has been there every night or day almost since he has come home with meals. It's been over 2 months. How could I possibly help when she's there all the time? When I questioned him he said "I don't want to hurt her feelings and why should I stop the food coming"? So I replied, "But It's ok to hurt my feelings"? Am I just jealous?
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ex-wife, his ex, jealous Reply to this Question
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female
reader, pepper  +, writes (5 May 2024):
 Hi hunny
Your FWB is a little more than that to you. Are you feeling concerned for the friendship side of things or are your feelings much more than you thought.
His ex may want back in, saying that he does sound happy with the food. I can understand not wanting to upset her after all she's done, Plus he isn't himself at the moment after surgery. You could go around and try and get on with his ex work together to help. I've just this feeling you feel much more than FWB and he won't even think about it if this is the case. I do understand, maybe have an honest chat with him when he is feeling up to it. Hope this helps a little
Take care Peps xxx
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 April 2024): Of course she wants to live with him, probably to marry him.
She wants to feel it is more than FWBs when she knows it is just that and more. So she lies to herself and us about what it is and what she wants.
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A
male
reader, kenny  + ♥, writes (30 April 2024):
 If you are more than a FWB as you say then why do use the term in your post?.
By your own admission you say that you don't want to marry him, you don't want to live with him, so why are you putting yourself through this turmoil?.
Save yourself the heartache and let them get on with it and walk away.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2024): Excuse me. You, the person asking for advice, said he is a FWB. Then you complain when people who give you advice say he is a FWB and you expect too much from it!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2024): Just to answer some of the responses. I lived with him 13 years so I think I'm more then a FWB. And I haven't slept with him in months because he's not right after his surgery. I don't want to live with him, marry him, etc. I was just taken back when I was good enough until his surgery and now she's there almost every day. He said he has to ween her off him. Narcissist for sure.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious + ♥, writes (29 April 2024):
 I would strongly recommend you open your eyes and wake up to reality. If this man's relationship with his ex-wife is so good that he informs her he is ill and she immediately steps in to look after him, it should drive home to you that you really are no more than a convenience to him. That is nothing against him because you admit you are merely FWB. That sort of relationship has its own set of rules, the most important being "no strings".
If I was a gambler, I would put some serious money on them getting back together after this - or, at the very least, staying close - in which case you will be out of the picture completely.
Do yourself a favour, cut your losses and find yourself a relationship where you get your emotional as well as sexual needs fulfilled.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2024): Friends with benefits does not include helping them when ill or visiting them whenever it suits you. It's just sex no strings. You are trying to use this as a chance to get nearer to him and spend more time with him and turn it into more, which is rather selfish and short sighted and totally ignoring what the deal is. He will get sick of it and dump you. Why do you think that because you no strings sex he should think of you as important? You were just a convenience, there to save him money on prostitutes. Most people would prefer for an ex wife to take care of them anyway, because like Honeypie says they know them a lot better and are used to living with them and all that goes with it. You don't see the whole picture or think things through and come across as clingy and immature.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2024): Unfortunately you are just someone he has sex with, without any commitment or your being a real part of his life. Would you not prefer to find a proper relationship with someone who loves and respects you?
Please don't let anyone treat you like second best. You are worth more than that.
Do you want to feel useful to someone? If so there's plenty of volunteer work out there.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (27 April 2024):
 You are an FWB, she is an ex-WIFE - big difference.
I get why you feel less important, because you are less important to him. He is #1, the ex wife (because she knows what he likes and how to take care of him, she is familiar) is#2 and you aren't even on the list.
Maybe you should back off. See if he will work to keep you around or if he only reaches out when she no longer takes care of him.
Why do you even accept to be someone "FWB"?
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