A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I have a long distance partner who I met on my holidays a while ago. I'm from England and he is from Wales. I really love this guy, he's funny, charming, very attractive and honestly I love spending time with him.The hitch is, I find it really hard to trust him. He had a huge sexual past compared to me at 18 girls and at first this really put me off him, I don't go for someone who plays girls around. He said he had never been in a relationship before and he was young and had wanted to enjoy himself. Over the course of the fortnights holiday we spent everyday together and became close, but did nothing but kiss and he said that he had never paid this much attention to a girl before.After we got back from our holiday, he has been to visit me loads of times and makes a real effort with me (calls and texts every single day) and I really have fallen for him and we have a real spark. He says that he reciprocates these feelings and I really want to believe him. But with him being so far away I do find myself a little paranoid, like how can a guy go from being such a ladies man to a one-woman kind of a guy? Especially one that lives so far away. Admittedly I have been cheated on before and that probably isn't helping. Another thing is he never says I'm pretty or beautiful or anything complimentary other than how intelligent I am and this just isn't what I'm used to?Do you think I have anything to be worried about? Or am I really just being paranoid?
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (23 December 2013):
 I’m not sure how far apart you guys are but if he’s in daily contact and he visits you regularly (you need to visit him too or contribute to the cost of his trips) then I think you are worrying about something that may or may not happen.
LDRs need a bunch of things. Communication, trust, honesty, regular visits (money) and finally A PLAN TO END THE DISTANCE. Sounds like you have communication and regular visits (which means you have the money to pull this off) . So all we have to work on is trust and A PLAN TO END THE DISTANCE.
So who’s going to move to be with who?
As for him saying you are intelligent but not pretty or beautiful… well that may be what he finds most attractive about you, your brain. And honey that’s AWESOME… because looks fade…your brain is who you really are.
How can a guy go from so many ladies to being a one woman man? SIMPLE, he meets the right girl. My husband swore up and down right and left he was never getting married. Marriage was stupid and not needed. I did not care, in fact I did not want to get married. We married because when a man finally finds a woman he loves enough to marry marriage is no longer stupid or not needed.
I think you need to give it some time and see what happens…
A
male
reader, devont +, writes (23 December 2013):
 If he has given you no reason to suspect he would cheat, other than his past, then I would trust him.
I know it is easier said than done, but you can't hold his past against him. Maybe he did mess around... Now he has found the right woman he doesn't want to do that anymore. If he had cheated on other girls, then that would be different, but as he hasn't, I think you should give him the benefit of the doubt.
Talk to him. Not about him cheating, but just say you find the distance hard and sometimes need reassurance.
All the best.
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