A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Help!! This is alittle confussing and may be long..Sorry..I am a married women of about 19 years and have kids.A couple of years ago a old friend of mine came home for and we ran into each other. We exchanged numbers and then things started to develope. We talked all the time and text all the time.I admitted to me that he moved away because I was marrying another man and he didn't want to see me with him. I had no idea that this guy had feelings for me back then. Well I found myself falling for him. We always text each other goodnight and goodmorning before we do anything else. We met a about 7 times since then and know things are differant.After we are together for weekend he goes back home and becomes very distant (hardly any text or phone calls.)I find myself going off on text to him trying to find out why? He always says that he was just busy and everything is fine. But to me if he truely cared then he would find a minute to send a txt or call on his way to and from wherever it is he goes. He is very secetive but I no for a fact he isn't married. I think he just because distant because he is confussed about his feeling again and is trying to get them back under control.He always says he doesn't want a serious relationship he likes his freedom. I don't know what to do. I love this man and I don't want to loose him again but how can I find out if he has feelings for me or if im just a game to him?
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female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (27 April 2010):
 It really doesn't matter if he is married or not. YOU are!
If you are so bored in your marriage and some guy from the past can get in your knickers THAT easily... You need to take some time and figure out what to do about your marriage. Work on it or end it. It isn't fair on you OR your husband. Sorry to sound crude, but it is time to SHIT or get OFF the pot.
As for the guy.... Yes, I think he is playing you. I don't know which Nicholas Sparks novel he pulled his "woe is me, I had to move away because you got married plot from" but it sounds absolutely unrealistic. I wouldn't be surprised if he has used that line a time or two before. I know it might seems jaded to say so, but I have seen a lot stunts pulled by both men and women to get someone in bed with them. To forget your marriage vows, you morals and values. All for lust. All for sex. All for a fake fantasy.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (27 April 2010):
Stop with this other guy who probably has a wife and kids or that there are several other women involved(hence why he is so secretive) and focus on your own marriage. Either get a divorce and move on to someone who will actually commit to you, or fix your marriage. Stop living in the past with a man who clearly isn't interested in you as much as you'd like to think.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (27 April 2010):
 Uhm. Pertsonally I am convinced that "I am too busy " is 95percent of the times just a lame excuse. After all,how heavy can your workload be or how intense your social life to preventi you from sending a "Hi I miss you " by text ? It's a matter of seconds.
Another telltale sign is his being secretive. He is not married, but he may a fiancee' or girlfriend around.
He has been open ,though, about his love for freedom and told you clearly that he does not want anything serious.So you should not expect too much from this relationship.
I am not saying that he does not care at all about you, or that he is using you as a plaything. Things are rarely all black or all white- I think you belong to a grey area in which he cares about you, as long as he has not got to do any particular change or effort to fit you in his life.
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A
male
reader, Brunel  +, writes (27 April 2010):
Come on! Where are you at I feel so annoyed at ladies like you that fall for this type of action. He is not married - CSI expert are we now? He is secretive - well of course he probably has a wife and children that is why?What of you family and kids, husband even? So what would you do run away together and join the circus? Well maybe as you are in one now that will or has hurt you already!Bit nasty am I ? Well I do not mean to be be assured of that I am just so angry that so many of you fall for trickery and dreams. This is going nowwhere and you have so much to lose?If you are bored challenge your life within your marriage. Tell this bloke to shove off and see if he gets in touch with you again - he won't. Of course he has been having sex with you too! bet he has never so much as bought you a present. A bit of sex for the price of a few texts - bargain of the year I guess?
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