A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I am 10 months into a relationship after a painful divorce. My previous marriage consisted of 1 son and a step daughter. My girlfriend has 1 son and we get on. my main concern is my (ex) step daughter. My girlfriend is constantly telling me stop allowing her visits and to stop being soft on her, as she has a real father elsewhere and is nothing to do with me. I don`t see it this way, as she has only ever known me. There is also anger if I have to communicate with my ex wife, as she believes she wants me back. At the same time my girlfriend goes out drinking with her ex`s sister regularly, has her ex`s family around. She won`t discuss anything which doesn`t fall in with her self serving opinions. Am i getting into the wrong relationship?
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female
reader, lampshade69 +, writes (25 April 2012):
Your stepdaughter considers you to be her daddy, if your NEW girlfriend doesn't appreciate your love for your stepdaughter and your need to see her. Then she is either a knave or a fool and certainly not worth your time. She should be wanting all the children to be together not separating one off. What you both need to remember is your stepdaughter is your own child's sister, do you honestly think when your child grows older they will respect you for abandoning their sister? I think not!! Do you want to be left on your own, estranged from your children? Of cause not! you need to have contact with your ex wife, she's the mother of YOUR children!! If your GF is behaving like this now, no good is going to come out of a relationship with her. HER attitude is HER problem if she can't accept you have a family how can she possibly accept and love you? I'd get out NOW before her son becomes attached to you. I don't mean to be harsh and I really do feel for you, but I think your Gf is being selfish and I think you need to grow a pair and stand up for your kids, leave her and leave yourself open to finding someone who will love both you and your children.
A
female
reader, delightful84 +, writes (25 April 2012):
I think I would think long and hard if I was you. She seems unable to understand anything outside of her own interest. It is good of you to keep up with your step daughter and see her. Don`t allow her selfish insecurities to change you into her puppet.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2012): She keeps in touch with all to do with her ex, yet at the same time doesnt want you to have any communication with your ex wife or an innocent child because of the connection. I dont see anything changing because it is all about her as far as she is concerned. I would get out before she gets even worse.
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (25 April 2012):
 Your step daughter was part of your life long before your new girlfriend came on the scene, so you should feel happy and comfortable continuing to see her. If your new girlfriend doesn't like it then perhaps she isn't the right person to be with.
Talk to your girlfriend and tell it like it is, contact continues or you will have to reconsider the relationship you are now in.
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A
female
reader, Jesslirai  +, writes (25 April 2012):
 It appears to me that you are questioning the position you are in for a reason. I'm not sure to that i can tell you factually that you are in the wrong relationship, but here is what i can tell you~ I believe there is nothing wrong with seeing your ex step-daughter and being there for her. If I had a boyfriend that did that i would actually encourage it. My father was never there for me but fortunately I had grandparents and Uncles to help be that father figure in my life. I think what your doing for this little girl is great and nobody should ever try to tell you what to do with your life, especially when you are doing something so encouraging for that little girl.
I think maybe you should sit your girlfriend down and explain to her what you are doing and why you are doing that in the best way that you can. I also think you maybe should bring up the things she does that bothers you. communication is very vital in relationships and as long as you guys cant communicate effectively, you might have problems. She should be able to listen and hopefully you guys can come to some sort of agreement, but if not there is always counseling. and if counseling wont work then you might want to reconsider your relationship status.
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