A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm 19 and he's 22...and he lives in France. We met by chance on chat roulette in April and we talked every day on aim/facebook chat/google chat and webcam ever since then. We even send each other text messages almost everyday. We are both naturally modest and a little shy, we don't do dirty things on webcam. At most we joke about those things. We've really connected and we've both confessed that we love each other. I feel like I can trust him because he seems very honest and I know all the details about his life. I know where he works, where he goes to school, where he lives, the names of his friends, etc. We've sent each other gifts, too. He sent me a Totoro plushie and I sent him a sweater along with other little gifts, and a love letter. We like a lot of the same things...volleyball, the same movies (sometimes we watch them together while we're on webcam), the same music, the same foods, etc. Both of us are even Vietnamese. He's an amazing cook, he plays on his university's volleyball team, and he's a math major. He's working to save money to come visit me for a week during spring break. If that goes well I think I might fly to France to stay with him for the summer at his apartment (I don't know for how long). He's told me it doesn't matter if things don't work out and we can't see each other this spring/summer, he is willing to wait for me. I haven't even told my mom that I plan to fly to France to see a boy I've never met in real life... I will probably wait until after he comes here to tell her. I'm in college anyway. What I want to know is...am I justified in trusting him to let him stay here? Am I crazy for loving someone I've never met in real life? Also, I feel as if communication might be a problem when we are together. He's pretty much fluent in English but he's shy and doesn't speak it out loud much. Same with me, I'm an intermediate French speaker but I'm shy and don't speak it much out loud. We talk on the internet more in English. I feel like in spending time with each other, we will get better at english/french, respectively. We've talked about living together...getting married...having kids. Only in light banter, talking about our dreams. He even said that he might move to the US. He said I wouldn't like it in France, idk. What are the chances of this relationship succeeding?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 September 2010): You aren't crazy for loving him. Loving a person is a reflection of how that person makes you feel and you love the way he makes you feel. It can all be very real and genuine. However you have to keep in mind that all that could be different when you are relating with each other in person. Also be cautious about him staying with you when visiting or you staying with him. A lot of what a person shares and expresses over the Internet could be something different from who they truly are.
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