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Am I being unfair to my boyfriend?

Tagged as: Dating, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (5 April 2011) 1 Answers - (Newest, 5 April 2011)
A age 41-50, * writes:

i need some advice. i left my husband a year and a half ago and i have had a lot of problems geeting on with my life.I couldn't be with hubby anymore because he was violent and i feared for my life. I thought after i got out that i would have a bf straight away and i could be able to enjoy my life but that is not what happened.

i recently agreed to be someone's gf but the problem is i don't find him attractive.I like him alot but the lack of attraction is a huge problem for me. I feel very isolated and because i lost a lot of my friends during the divorce it is very hard to find someone who is honest, reliable and doesn't pressure me to have sex.He is basically the only person i can count on when i need some help.

I have never had sex with him due to the lack of attractive but we have made out and when we do i find myself thinking of a friend of mine at school.. This friend is a study buddy of mine and he has expressed wanting to have sex with me but he is player and didn't offered me a relationship so i didn't agree.Study buddy is much more attractive than my bf but being a player and a liar it is hard to have even a good friendship with him.

i am very sacred of cheating on my bf i need him very much and if we break up he might not want to help me anymore but study buddy is very tempting. I know study buddy is going to hurt me if i get close to him because i had sex with him once and he just ignored me afterwrads. Screening my calls and calling other girls in front of me ...it really hurt.

i have considered meeting more people so i have more options in men but i am a very shy girl and meeting people is hard for me.What should i go ? Should i break up with my bf? Am i being unfair to bf? How do i keep away from stucy buddy? It is soo hard to stop thinking of him and the intimate moments we had together.

View related questions: divorce, liar, player, shy, violent

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A female reader, Yetilicious United States +, writes (5 April 2011):

Yetilicious agony auntGet out of that relationship fast, you're not attracted to him, it's not going to work. You're basically using him because you're lonely and need someone there for you. Just tell him you just see him as a friend and you don't want to complicate things. I sugggest doing what a lot of people do and find a good dating website. You'll get to know the guy a bit from the safety of your own home before you even have a first date. That should help a bit with the shyness. You deserve someone who you're attracted to and who wants to be in a relationship with you, and your boyfriend deserves someone who just can't get enough of him. Keeping away from your study buddy shouldn't be hard, just imagine how miserable your life is going to be after you fall for him and he leaves you for some skank. You should respect yourself more and not settle for just anyone. Be confident, that is the most attractive thing to any man.

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