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anonymous
writes: I need someone to tell me I am not going crazy here!! I think I am being emotionally abused. I have never had any experience with this and I can't take it any longer. The stress levels are starting to affect my health and self-esteem. I have a bf who is the most insecure, selfish man I have known. He treats me like a child. He routinely ridicules, dismisses, or disregards my opinions and feelings. I find myself “walking on eggshells,” wary of his moods. He's jealous and resentful of the time I spend with my friends and family. He insists on making the decisions and getting his own way. He seems impossible to please, finding fault with whatever I do. He blames everyone and me included, for his own problems. He viciously teases and then accuses me of not being able to take a joke. He perceives himself as being smarter or somehow “better than” me and everyone else. He believes I should be willing to have sex whenever he's in the mood. He believes I should put all other things aside, to tend his needs. He telephones me all the time, during the day for reassurance of my love. He questions me incessantly about my activities when we are apart. He insists on being in control of the money in the relationship. He expects me to always have the same opinions and passions as him. He has broken objects in an attempt to scare me and upset me. I am not used to such a dysfunctional relationship and I have to now say, I do not tolerate this-I do take a stand but the arguing is getting to me. He seems to thrive on the discord and seeing how far he can push my buttons. He tells me I am a 'hard' woman because I never let my guard down. I refuse to cry and I do fight back against his BS. But in truth, my heart is breaking inside. All I want is happiness, a peaceful life and solace. I just want someone, in my life, who can give to me as equally and lovingly as I can to them. My bf is incapable of this. I have recommended therapy but he refuses. He says I have the problem because when he baits me or nitpicks, I am not afraid to speak up. But, he's good at blameshifting. I have asked him to leave countless times. (I work and own my own home-I don't need him, financially) He refuses to and then swears he will behave nicer, which of course, lasts about 2-3 days. I am at my wit's end with this man. I suppose I am just looking for validation and a chance to vent. Thank you all.... for listening. Any thoughts are appreciated.
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2006): Wow...word for word and listed in the same order as a post I put on here from the book I was reading "The Emotionally Abusive Relationship" ...how odd.
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female
reader, DrPsych  +, writes (27 August 2006):
 The guy has a personality disorder...feel sorry for him, but don't stay with him as you are not his community care nurse! Personality disorders are not very treatable so he is a bit of a lost cause on the romance front. Anyway enough about him...sounds like he laps up the attention...WHAT ABOUT YOU...sounds like some self respect is creeping back into your life and you have started realising that no-one should put up with this treatment. He is emotionally abusing you, but I don't like that word because it conquers up visions of 'perpetrators' verses 'victims'. Bad things happen to people (or rather bad people can happen to you) but how you respond to these difficult situations is critical. Don't be a passive victim of his treatment, but walk away with your head held high. It might be the best favour you ever do the guy - he maybe faced with the prospect of having to deal with his own personality disorder if you start saying no to him rather than enabling him to treat you badly by sticking around...remember he is breaking your possessions right now...how long before he starts breaking your face? Get walking girl as you deserve better!
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female
reader, Jadzia1127  +, writes (27 August 2006):
 I am positive he was not this way when you first met him, he might have said a few things in the beginning that took you back but you brushed them off as nothing. Those nothings have now grown into a hellish abuse cycle on it's way to the emergency room.
You are experiencing verbal, emotional, financial, and sexual abuse in this relationship. If he hasn't taken it to the physical abuse yet, it is coming soon to your face.
If you are in the USA call 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) in the UK call 0808-2000-247. Get help, get out while you still can.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2006): geez woman, thats an incredible patience, and by the way he's using u to have a home, and if he's so bad as u describe him, how come u havent left him, or at least kicked him out, my advice is either force him to therapy, or kick him out cuz if u keep that up ur really goin to end up in a bad situation (i sure know from xperience)
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