A
female
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*ngelicc
writes:My boyfriend and I have been in a long this long distance relationship for almost a year and three months (but it seems it’s been longer than that, like it’s been like 5 years). My boyfriend is my first love but I’m not his. I’m not the type of person to fall in love easily, so I guess that explains my clinginess. Well we’ve been through a hell of a lot together, not only dealing with the own living more than 10,000 miles apart but the fact that I cheated and our loss of our baby. I guess you're wondering about the cheating and the baby. Well 6 months into our relationship my bf went away and we had no contact for 2 months, during this time I got really lonely and met this guy. That’s when I made the worse mistake. I let things go too far with him. I slept with him and I never felt more dirty or sick in own life. It’s like one of those things you regret during and straight after doing. When my boyfriend got back I told him everything (you're probably wondering why I did, well I just won't be able to live with myself if I didn’t), then I tried to break up with him because I thought that it would be best for him. But my boyfriend just forgave me and said he understands (which was weird because I didn’t). After that we just grew closer and during the summer I went to stay with him. I met his own family who were very welcoming. During the summer we became so close that it seemed nothing could break us apart.Soon after I found out I was pregnant. At first we were excited but I started to worrying because college was going so well and if I had a baby I’ll have to leave my course and I didn’t want to become one of those mother that hate and blame their children for missing out on things in life. Then I realized that I’ll be a single parent, my boyfriend said I wouldn’t that he’ll move down here, but I could ask for him to give up his own life for me. So that’s when I started thinking of abortion (even though it went against everything I believed in). but then I decided I couldn’t go through with the abortion, but before Christmas the decision was taken away from me when I lost my baby. I was so depressed; I don’t think I’ve ever cried so much. But I think my boyfriend took it a lot harder then I did. I believe that it was my fault that I am to blame, I believe if I never thought of abortion I’d never of lost my baby and I’d be 8 months pregnant. Ever since December my boyfriend and I have been growing more and more apart. I know he's busy but I’m lucky if I get to speak to him once a week. It’s not him to blame though; it’s me. All I ever seem to do is push him away. I’m always moaning at him, blaming, pissing him off. The worse thing is that I feel I need to talk to him all the time but he's not there for me. I don’t know what’s wrong with me but I think I’m going to ruin our relationship. I'm frightened he’ll give up on us.What's wrong with me???
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abortion, christmas, depressed, long distance Reply to this Question
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reader, Angelicc +, writes (5 March 2006):
Angelicc is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thax wannabe city girl thats really great advise, i'll try it and see if it works. thax you
A
female
reader, wnabe_ctygrl +, writes (5 March 2006):
There is nothing wrong with you, and there is nothing wrong with him. You guys are just really busy with life now, and that sounds like its about it. Im sure you dont want to leave him, and I dont think that he wants to let you go ether. About the problems you guys are having, well, instead of getting all upset try, working it out, calmly. Try at least to get ahold of him at least every other day, if that isn't possible try sending him sweet text messages and pics on his phone, or leave a message on his answering machine. Tell him how much you miss him and how you were with him.... you know....etc etc etc.... make sure that he knows that he is being loved by his lover.
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