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female
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anonymous
writes: Ok.. here's the problem. I broke up with my ex about a month and a half ago. We were together for 18 months, and in that time he lied to me about a few HUGE issues, and manipulated me into doing something that I didn't really want to do. He was in general manipulative and verbally abusive. Nowadays, I decided to try to be on friendly terms with him, because every single one of his exes tells me that he's a great friend, but if you looked up "shitty boyfriend" in the dictionary you'd find his picture. Now, here's my problem. He's got a new girlfriend, and I still tend to get jealous as hell when I see them eating each other's faces off or echanging "I love you's". If that's not idiotic on my part, I don't know what is. How can I stop getting jealous and not think about him? Am I a crazy obsessive bat or what?
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female
reader, willywombat  +, writes (5 March 2006):
 Oh my God NO you are not a crazy obsessive bat in the slightest!!
This is a perfectly normal feeling to have! You were exclusive with this guy for 18 months and during that time you developed feelings for him. Regardless of how you split up it can be difficult to watch somebody you regard as *yours* with somebody else.....and this is even if you dont have feelings for them any more!!!
You are being brave evcen admitting you have these feelings as a lot of people would think this meant you still want to be back with the loathed ex, evn if this is just SO not the case. It's like a case of *I dont want you, but I dont want anyone else to have you either* isnt it? Also, there may be a little bit of a feeling of failure....that you failed were this new GF has succeeded (like by getting him to *behave himself* although from what you say this isnt likely and he is probably never gonna change.
Dont worry, you are not going round the twist. As long as you dont act on these feelings and dont try to get him back in a fit of pique then you will be ok. After all he is an ex for a reason, and quite frankly if he is such an idiot then you are well rid.
Avoid the ares these two go and your feelings will pass in time.
Good Luck.
xxx
A
female
reader, wnabe_ctygrl +, writes (5 March 2006):
I think it is about time that you get over your ex bf, besides you said he was verbally abusive and a shitty boyfriend! You dont diserve somone like that, there are better fish in the sea! Don't get jelouse of that girl becasue maybe she deserves your bf. I would feel kinda sorry for her actually...lol.
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