A
female
age
30-35,
*skRosie
writes:Hey,My supposed Best Friend, AG, has started being really mean to me. She is absolutely livid at me, for going out with her ex, OB, even though they split up over two years ago, their relationship lasted all of three days and she is constantly asking me when I'm gonna dump him, and I am really starting to hate her. Yesterday she called me a "Stuck-up bitch, who alway's sticks her nose into other peoples business" when she was talking to my other best friend, AN, and AN told be about it. She doesn't understand that she has hurt me, thousands of times. Another example of this is when, at a fireworks display a friend, SM, was saying about her work experience, and I said in a sarcastic voice "that sounds fun". She went mental at me, because apparently SM was really hurt, despite the fact that, AG and SM, are always really sarcastic to me and are forever being really spiteful, and laughing at me and AN. They all ways tell us what to do, and they won't let us lead our own lives. It could be just hormones, but I think that they really hate me, and I don't know why. Maybe I shouldn't be sarcastic with them, but if they are too me, why shouldn't I be to them? Every thing that me and AN do is wrong, and it is really pissing me off. Please help, me make up my mind about wheter I should be friends with them anymore, and what I should do about them!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Tigerlily  +, writes (15 November 2008):
In my experience, friends might tease each other from time to time, but genuine friends are kind and caring to one another. It doesn't sound to me like they are kind to you, but neither does it sound to me like you are especially kind to them. Sarcasm can be a very dangerous defense mechanism and a damaging way to treat your friends. Why not try dropping the sarcasm and just being genuine with your friends and see if they respond to that. Treat them the way you want to be treated, instead of constantly trying to one up them and go tit for tat. That is not very relationship-building behavior.
As for you dating your friends ex... I'm sorry honey, but in the world of women that is a huge no no. No matter how long or short they were together, or even if they were never together and she just had feelings for him - A girlfriends guy is off limits for good - unless she gives you permission, which your friend didn't. It has to do with loyalty and respect. No wonder she is angry with you. She feels very hurt, and that you totally disregarded her feelings and betrayed her. You are playing down something that is actually a very big deal.
You need to decide which is more important to you - the guy or your friend.
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