A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My girlfriend and I have known each other for about a year and have been going out for nearly 6 months. Last night she texted me saying "prove that you love me".I know that would seem like a shallow thing to ask but she has her reasons. Life has thrown a lot of shit at her. Not just relationship-related, but eating disorders and depression amongst other things. This makes her afraid of a lot of things in life and I can understand that. I know that she loves me because there are so many things she has trusted me with that she wouldn't tell anybody lightly. I wish I had something like that to give back to her but I don't have any secrets worth telling. In the past year of knowing her, there have been more perfect moments between us than I have ever experienced in my whole life (granted I'm still at school). She loves me but her self-esteem issues mean that a lot of the time she gets paranoid that I am just saying it when I say I love her back. She is beautiful, intelligent, lively, and creative and I can't think of a single reason why I wouldn't love her but she can't see any of this in herself and that makes it a lot harder for me. I tell her about how much I love her often and sometimes she just seems really distant. It's not that she doesn't love me, it's that she's afraid that she will be hurt even more than she has been in the past. I'm willing to commit to showing her this because I have never had a relationship as serious as this one and it has completely changed me as a person.Any advice?Determined boyfriend
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2008): Aw bless ya! If you're a member, add me as a friend =]
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI tried doing as you said and it worked so perfectly it's unbelievable. We have a private joke about writing long lists of things... Thank you so much for the advice, it's probably the best advice anyone could have given me. I owe you more than you could know..
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2008): I was a tiny little bit like that with my boyfriend, because my exes were all pretty crap. The best thing to prove your love is time - how long you stick around, you constantly remind her that you love her, you do special things for her, you don't cheat etc.
Make a list of all the things you like about her and why you like them. Make another list of your most special moments and say why they were so special. Give her these lists - tell her to pin them on her wall, and every time she feels down, to read them. Keep adding to the list as soon as you find something new. It'll be a constant reminder that you are still there and that you still love her =]
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