A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've fallen hard for a guy I've been seeing for the past 2 months.But according to my friend who asked him, he says we're just some fun and he not the settling type.This really hurt me because I thought our relationship was actually going to go somewhere. I haven't personally talked to him about the whole thing yet. I've been distancing myself from him since he said that because I don't want to be hurt, but I don't think I can do just fun anymore with him. Do I still talk to him or wait and let him make the next move as to when I contact and see him?? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, tennisstar88  +, writes (18 January 2012):
 If you wish to hear it straight from the horse's mouth, then ask him.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI still think I should ask if this going to go anywhere or not so I know if I'm wasting my time investing emotionally if there is no point
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (17 January 2012):
You guys aren't even in a relationship. So you have really no right to talk to him about what he said to your friend, seeing as you two aren't even boyfriend-girlfriend.
Pretty much, you have your answer..He's a player and NOT the settling type. You're not going to be able to tie this guy. Even if you manage to it will be a short lived relationship, and you'll wind up getting hurt.
Stay away from the player if you don't want to get hurt.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 January 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWe not offically bf n gf and there a age diff I'm 20 n he 26 and from what I know of his past he is a player. Even his mates have told me he is trouble and I shouldn't get to deeply involved with him. I like him but I don't want to get hurt. I never once mentioned anything about settling down hadn't crossed my mind and we've never talked about anything like that so not sure what my friend might have said to him
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (17 January 2012):
Are you guys officially boyfriend and girlfriend??
No offense OP but I think you're overreacting just a bit. You guys have been together for a whopping 2 months. So I can see why he told your friend that he wasn't think about settling down and having fun. You're in the early, honeymoon phase of your relationship. This is the best part!!! You two could turn into a long term, or be a short relationship. There's no telling what the future will hold.
I hate to tell you guys at 18-21 aren't really thinking about long term, marriage.They're more selfish thinking about what they're going to for a career, what new X-box game just came out, and whatever other toys they're going to purchase for themselves.
BUT, I know you want to talk to him about it because it's bothering you. And one of the parts of relationships is communication. So talk to him about what your friend told you and see if you two are on the same page as far as what you want out of this relationship. The only bad part about this is that this may break your relationship. Then again, I can see you not wanting to waste time on someone who wants something else.
Overall, I think you should brush off the comment and give this relationship a chance. Also, tell your friends to mind their business and not drill your boyfriend about the relationship.
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A
male
reader, Kyle007 +, writes (17 January 2012):
Continue on as normal and do NOT go by second-hand information. He may or may not have said it, and even if he did, he may have had his reasons for saying it to your friend the way he did.
Here is another thing, who knows what that "friend" of yours is saying to him about YOU.
Third parties like this can promote conflicts, and I hate to say this, if things are now going wrong where they weren't before, it is NOT an accident. You need to get in touch with this man and compare notes on all of your conversations each of you had with this friend of yours, or anyone else.
You may lose a friend over this, but it could be a good thing.
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