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male
,
anonymous
writes: Hi there, I need some help as I'm so confused with an ex, that I don't even know what to think about it all. I started seeing a girl who lives above the shop that I work in. We had so much in common and got on really well and I really liked her, I think she liked me too, but would sometimes be shy. Now I'm not being big headed and it means nothing to me, but I'm quite good looking, and even though I think she is gorgeous, she thought she was a bit overweight, which I told her was crap and that she was lovely. I asked her one night why she was really shy around me sometimes, hoping to make things easier for her for by telling her she had no reason to feel shy around me, but she said she had a really bad breakup with her ex, which incidentally was a while ago, and would tell me more when she got to know me better. Everything was going well until we slept together. She seemed really shy, and wouldn't touch me or anything, but we had sex and she became quite passionate though. Then disaster struck! I had been up since 5 in the morning, hadn't eaten much that day and had been drinking with her, and lost my erection ten minutes after we started. I think this freaked her out. I didn't think it was such a big deal in retrospect, but I pretended that I had came, although I'm not sure she believed me, as she became very quiet and just went to sleep. Sleeping in the other side of the bed and stuff, not like how I imagined it would be afterwards, call me a romantic. So that morning, she was even more quiet, I it was awkward. I had to initiate the cuddles and kisses, I left shortly afterwards. When we met up again, she said she didnt want us to see each other again as she 'had issues'. I was really hurt, but accepted that, and we decided to just be friends. This is when it gets confusing, as the last time we met up, the time after we decided to be friends, it was so awkward and the conversation, full of long silences, it was dreadful and I she felt it as well as she said what was on my mind, i.e 'I have to go', so we left. I still had to serve her in the shop, so I would talk to her when I was serving her, stuff like 'how are you?' and the like. I was very disappointed we couldn't be friends, as that time was just awful, but forgot about it all. Then last weekend I got a text from her inviting me to her party that she was spontanously having in her flat. I only knew her and as the last time we met it was dire I told her I couldnt go, but we should meet up for a coffee sometime which she said she would text me we would meet up. I just cant understand why she would invite me. I'd like to think it was because she still likes me, as pathetic as this sounds, I still really like her and would hope she feels the same. What should I do? I want to make the effort and attempt to be her friend and hopefully more if she wants that, but I just can't understand why after the weirdness and awkwardness of the last time we met that she would want to see me again.....please help!
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female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (12 November 2005):
 It does like she has "issues" so I guess you can only continue to be friendly and hope she will come around. But remember to keep your line in the water because there are a lot of fish in the sea.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2005): YOu leave a woman hanging without seeing she has an orgasm, and you wonder why she isn't interested in you anymore? Where is your head? You obviously are not a very experienced lover, or that would never happen. Let me give you a hint. With a lover, you don't think about the first time you climax. If it comes early, that is just a compliment to her and a reflection of how arroused she has made you feel. You go for the next erection, and keep her happy with your hands, fingers, and tongue. If you aren't into foreplay, and oral sex, you had better get busy and learn. You are really lucky she didn't literally kick you out of the bed. Sit down and talk straight talk to her abouth how you feel. You are all concerned about her being shy that you won't admit your own shyness. Be direct, and be honest. Then see if she will let you begin again. Sex should not be " work ". It should always be adult fun. Play with her in bed. Tickle her, talk to her, laugh with her, and let the arousal come naturally. A woman has dozens of erogeous zones. Explore them together. YOu have many, too. Explore them, too. Sex is a particatory sport. Keep those principles in mind the next time you make love to a woman and you might just have a wonderful time together.
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