| A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: My sex drive has gone to zero...!I no longer get aroused. I used to be very sexual, only a kiss got me going. But last year I got depressed, I was depressed for like 2 months, and my sex drive was obviously nonexistant. Then I got better and it started getting better, but it slowly decreased... I have a boyfriend, we've been together for a year and a half and I lost my virginity to him. He used to turn me on so much! But I don't think it has anything to do with him. Because I also used to enjoy masturbating a lot, and my "solo" sex life has also suffered... now when I masturbate I do so only to check that I can still orgasm, but not because I'm horny. I never get horny anymore. When I masturbate I can get off sometimes, but not all the time and it takes ages! Before, I used to get turned on BEFORE masturbating, now I start touching myself to see IF I can get turned on... this is very weird, because I no longer look at attractive guys, I no longer fantasize, and erotic stories or films do nothing to me anymore. I'm like numb to stimuli.It has nothing to do with my partner because my solo sex life has suffered... however my partner doesn't know about this. I've been on the Pill for a few months but this started way before that. We've made some of my fantasies true (like having sex in the shower, long time fantasy of mine...) but nothing. I get no lubrication, and it's like I feel nothing. Should I go to the doctor? I'm too young for this!!! :( I want to enjoy sex, I want to be turned on but I can't! I don't want to miss out...
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depressed, horny, libido, lost my virginity, orgasm, sex drive, sex life, the pill Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, bemused  +, writes (17 February 2008):
 Depression is called the common cold of mental illness...seems that most people are in the grasp of it at least once. You are right...you are too young for this to be a problem but do not judge yourself or be hard on yourself either...that is all part of depression. It can color your world and make you question yourself. It sounds like you are putting yourself through all kinds of little tests and judging yourself if you do not measure up..do not do that. I agree with Waterloo Sunset that you need to get to your physician. Depression can be biochemcial and your doctor may put you on meds and perhaps suggest counselling.
I know when I am down I find that exercise makes a HUGE difference....in a lot of ways. Are you involved in sports in any way as that can get the libido going in a natural way...plus you meet a lot of neet people. Diet is huge too. I am not a fan of fruits and vegetables but note a need in my mood and happiness when I stack up on them. How are your relationships with your family? friends? Counselling should help. Be easy on yourself...I suspect with time this problem will clear up.
Good luck and keep us posted.
Bear in mind that your libido is but one part of you are.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 February 2008): Go to the doctors and get checked out and the doctor will point you in the right direction. But these things do happen and it has happened to me, i visited the doctor and the end result was great, so i suggest you do the same.
take care
xx
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