A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:my fiance and i have been together for over a year and a half and engaged for ten months. we also have a baby due in less then a month. he is wanting to have a threesome with an old friend of mine he considers hot. I told him no immediatly but he persists everyday and insists he wants to be with only me in the long run and just wants to try this one time. I however cannot stand the thought of anyone else pleasing him or him pleasing another woman, but i want to make him happy and please him myself. Should i do it any way and hate it or what?
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engaged, fiance, threesome Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2008): NO NO NO NO.
And be SERIOUSLY annoyed at your inconsiderate fiance. Geez, of all the times to insist on an FMF threesome, when your eight months pregnant?!? I could easily look him in the eye, one man to another, and say "Are you normally such an insensitive jerk, or were you just raised in a barn?".
I don't begrudge him a fantasy, but I *DO* think he's being quite rude in persisting in the face of your repeated Nos. The 'prime directives' of having other partners are "No means NO" and "Move at the speed of the slowest (least comfortable) person". In this case, this is you, and your guy's stomping on BOTH of these sound rules. You need to plainly state what you've told us - you can't stand the idea of him with another woman, it would devastate you - and tell him how disappointed/upset you are that he's so completely disregarding your feelings. You're talking about him not getting additional pleasure - HE's talking about causing you *considerable* additional pain.
I realize you love him, but really, he's not being such a great catch AT ALL right now. And you owe it to yourself to plainly, but calmly, point that out to him.
A
male
reader, scofy  +, writes (19 August 2008):
 A big NO. Threesome sex will definitely ruin your relationship. I understand that he is abstained from sex with you because of your situation (preggy) but you can still please him sexually, try oral sex.
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A
female
reader, sexseahot +, writes (18 August 2008):
 If you do not want to do this, then don't. You will regret it once it is over and threesomes ruin a lot of relationships. If he respects you, he will accept no as an answer. Don't ever do anything sexually you do not want to do or something that could possibly harm or ruin your relationship.
Good Luck!
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (18 August 2008):
 You'd be nuts to do it. And your fiance better be able to accept "NO" for the answer or your future looks pretty bleak. I hope for your baby's sake you can settle this peacefully and immediately.
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A
male
reader, kenny  + ♥, writes (18 August 2008):
 You should never do anything you are not comfortable doing just to please someone else. And a three some is a pretty big step to take, and by proceding with this will either make or break your relationship. I think if you have told him no then he should respect your decision and leave it at that, he is wrong to keep pestering you about it. Surely he should be focusing his attentions more on the arrival of your baby in less than a month, rather than wanting to get his leg over with your hot mate. Besides your mate might not even be interested in a threesome anyway.
All the best x
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