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A request to watch over someone has turned into a big family feud!

Tagged as: Family, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (28 July 2015) 2 Answers - (Newest, 29 July 2015)
A female India age 22-25, anonymous writes:

Okay so this is twisted and I'm stressing over it a lot. There's this guy who happens to be my aunt's husband's nephew. I met him a few months back and liked him. I hit him up and we started talking, but then I got caught and my mom and aunt were furious. (This stuff is frowned upon in my family) However, we started talking again secretly and it turned into a relationship (or whatever the hell it was). I trusted him quite a bit and once or twice even told him how my aunt shows off her wealth :-/ (something I really regret)

The guy was so protective of his sister that he asked me to keep a tab on her. As a duty to him, I told him that she liked somebody. He assumed things and fought her,and took my name. She in turn brainwashed me and now he is against me! My aunt found out and told me not to talk to him again. The moron told me that I'm a liar when all I did was do what he said..He said really hurtful things which I still can't believe. I'm really worried because if his mom (who also knows what I said about my aunt) tells her, she might get angry and spill the beans to my mom! And I really can't handle that right now.. Please help. If such a situation were to arise, what would I do? Also, I don't trust the guy a bit now. So I don't know what I'd do if he told everyone we used to talk. So dead. Please please help :(

P.S. In my head I have killed him and pushed him off a cliff and even pulled random teeth out of his mouth.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (29 July 2015):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thank you for responding :) I have cut him off already.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (28 July 2015):

Honeypie agony auntWell, what do you do?

1. LISTEN to your family if they tell you to stay away from someone, there might actually BE a good reason. My guess is they KNOW this guy is somewhat of a drama llama.

2. OWN what you said. If you talk about family in an insulting way, be prepared to get it thrown your face, so own up and apologize.

3. It's not EVER your job to "spy" on people. IT will come back to BITE you on the rear-end. So if anyone asks that of you again.. tell them no, I can't.

4. If he spills the beans that you two kept talking even tough you were told NOT TO - again OWN it. Say, yes, we did and I apologize.

Every action has a reactions and actions have consequences. Remember that and live by it.

If you can't OWN what you say or do, then maybe you need to RETHINK if saying/doing it is the right thing.

You are still young and will make blunders/mistakes, but you are also OLD enough to know that when you DO make a blunder/mistake lying is never the way out. HONESTY is.

And last but not least, TRY not to let your imagination run away with all the POSSIBLE EVIL things this guy CAN do, doesn't mean he will. CUT him off 100% (and his sister too). Not only because you parents told you to, but... because it's the right thing to so.

I think in some cultures girls are a little to sheltered and expected to be "perfect" in every way, most girls aren't. AND THAT IS OK!

Chin up, this will go away eventually.

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