A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Well let me start off by saying that I'm seeking some opinions. My best friend has always been into younger men, she is 18 like me. Over the summer she met a 38 year old man at another friends job. She was hesitant because he is so much older but decided to go for it. They've now have been dating for 5 months and I can honestly say that they love each other. But some things bother me about him. First off cause he's 38 and not married, although he was engaged 5 years ago. Second, he doesn't have a job. He is a personal trainer but had a horrible accident and ruined his back. Third he lives in the apartment at his sister and brother in law's house. And fourth he was in a car accident about 3 months ago and totaled his car and still has not bought a new one. I might be looking too much into this but does anyone else find this rather strange?
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best friend, engaged, older man Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, steph007  +, writes (15 December 2010):
This type of affairs can be interesting for a while, but should be finished after (say) one year. After this term it rather draws back than raise up.
A
female
reader, Tbosse  +, writes (15 December 2010):
 I find it strange too.thank goodness hes not my bf...its just that you wont know the matters of the heart, it doesnt choose who 'it loves'. As long as they are happy together...who are we to judge them anyway
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A
female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (15 December 2010):
 Not strange at all.
1. Not being married at 38 - that is a good thing! Divorces are messy, kids could be involved etc so it is nice that he hasnt jumped into a marriage that has then failed - he clearly knows what he wants in a woman and in a relationship, and he has waited for the right one to come along.
2. No job - if his job was tied in with physical fitness, and he has been injured, then it is no surprise he has no job. Although if he is not looking for a new job and is fully recovered - then that is a warning sign that he is lazy and likes to mooch off other people.
3. Living with his sister - a bit weird and not ideal but if he has no job then he obviously cannot afford a place so staying with family is understandable.
4. No car - well no job = no car. If he wrote off his car then it would be expensive to get a new one (insurance will have gone up) so without a job he wont be able to afford one.
But really, none of this is any of your business. If they are in love, happy and he is treating her right - then keep your nose out. If he was abusing her or doing something illegal, then fine as a friend you have the right to get involved. But there is no point in worrying about things that dont affect you!
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