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A black guy asked me to home coming but my stepfather is racist!

Tagged as: Big Questions, Dating, Family, Forbidden love<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (24 August 2010) 2 Answers - (Newest, 24 August 2010)
A female United States age 26-29, anonymous writes:

I am 15, and this guy I really like just asked me out and suggested we go to homecoming together, there's only one problem...he's black. He's a really great guy, and I'd love to go with him. I don't think my Mom would mind, but it's my step-dad and some of my other family that I have to worry about. His parents know I'm white and don't care, but my step-dad has already expressed his opinion a few times when I talk about one of my friend who likes a mixed guy. I need to know what I should do.

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A female reader, OhGetReal United States +, writes (24 August 2010):

OhGetReal agony auntWhy don't you tell him you aren't sure yet if your parents will allow you to go to the dance, you're only 15, but would he mind coming over to the house to meet your folks?

Tell your Mom first you are having him over, make sure your Dad is there and he gets to meet him. Reassure your father you aren't going to run off with him into the sunset, but that he is your friend, you respect him a lot and hope he will respect him, too, and that he asked you to the dance.

Possibly, your Dad is not that racist, and he just has a bad habit of talking about others before he thinks, who knows, it's worth a shot.

Not much you can do to change your Dad, and if he won't let you go to the dance with him, ask for a reason why, and then accept it. He's your Dad and I am sure he has your best interests at heart. I don't know the kid, so I can't say if there is something else about him your Dad might not like other than his skin color, but I do agree that is being short sighted on your Dad's part. What he ought to be concerned with is your safety and be judging boys on that factor, whether or not they are safe for you to be around.

Take care, and I hope you get to go to your dance.

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A female reader, Sugarbuns Australia +, writes (24 August 2010):

Sugarbuns agony auntIt's your date, not your Dad's. Afterall it's just a dance. Maybe after they meet him, they'll realize what a nice guy he is, and his skin color will stop being the focus. Have fun.Be safe.

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