A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I feel like a damn fool. I'm an attractive, intelligent woman and over the course of the last year or so, I have found myself growing more attracted (emotionally, physically and mentally) to a beautiful, extremely mature 19 year old man. Sometimes I believe he reciprocates these feelings....but last night he kept promising he was on his way..and never showed up. We slept together for the first time three days ago and we were both blown away. He has demonstrated in MANY ways over the time that we've known each other that he cares for me deeply. Please give me some feedback! :( Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 April 2012): Thanks to all who replied (especially Basschick) :)
He explained later that night that his younger sister was injured BADLY in a car accident involving a drunk driver. As far as the age difference goes, I have met 15 year old adults and 55 year old children :) I'm just going to go with it and see how it transpires :) So far, so good :) Thank you all again :)
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2012): At this age they have to be kept excited all the time. That's a hard job, for me anyway. It's funny when I reached a certain age boys that young look just like children to me.
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A
female
reader, Ciar  + ♥, writes (29 April 2012):
 There are those who believe that when it comes to relationships age is just a number. I'm not one of them (depending on the age difference). If it were, paedophilia would be legal.
He may be mature for 19 but he is not as mature as a 32 year old (unless that 32 year old is very IMmature). He can't be because he hasn't the life experience. At his tender age, he hasn't gone through a fraction of what you have. And only three short years ago your involvement with him would have landed you in jail.
There is a certain novelty in this for both of you. You, I suspect, have just come out of a marriage or long term relationship or undergone some other significant life change. He is young and eager for experience and is flattered by the attentions and assumed sexual prowess of an older woman. The novelty will wear off and it sounds as though it may have for him already.
You can do yourself a favour and help him mature by cutting ties with him. Hopefully he'll be an adult and treat the next woman he tries to court with greater courtesy.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2012): Okay girlfriend......here is the bottom line.....he is still a 19 year old boy! Enjoy the thrill while it last, but don't get your hopes up for anything long lasting! You'll only set yourself up to be disappointedHe didn't show up...SURPRISED???? Your thinking "Long Lasting Love"...AND he's thinking "Booty Call". You will always be wondering if he wants to be with someone younger... AND he will. He is not as mature as you think....he promised he was on his way AND never showed up! All the signs are right in front of you.Enjoy the ride, but don't allow yourself to become emotionally attached to him. You'll only be disappointed in the end.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2012): No matter how mature he is - he is still 19. He has used you. To treat you so carelessly shows he is not worth your time. Forget him.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (28 April 2012):
 This man's age is of no importance in your "question."...Whence a man beds a woman, HE gains control of the situation between them... and can then act as aloof and disinterested as he wishes.....MANY women then turn inwards and ask "What's wrong with me?" whilest allowing this "man" to behave as a boor... AND, that is the "basis" of many "relationships"...YOU now have a chance (you get only ONE such chance, each man!) to "say" to this guy: "Well, I know now that you were out to bed me... and did so... and then revealed yourself to be like ooodles of other men out there, who do as you have done.... AND, I'm not stupid enough to allow you to get away with it, EVEN ONE MORE TIME..."Then, you disconnect from this cad and get on with your life.....
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (28 April 2012):
 what feedback do you want?
on his age?
on the fact that he had sex with you and then stood you up? (was that the first time he stood you up? have you had contact from him since you had sex?)
or the fact that you feel weird about being 13 years older than him?
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A
female
reader, PerhapsNot +, writes (28 April 2012):
 I have yet to meet a "mature" 19 year old male. There are definitely more serious, more intellectual, more pretentious and arrogant 19 year olds, but MATURE? The same applies to 19 year old females. 19 is just that- 19.
It takes men so much longer to mature, so why go after someone who is essentially still a teenager? If he has "demonstrated in MANY ways over the time that we've known each other that he cares for me deeply" then why are you freaked out about being stood up one time? Has he contacted you since then? Did he explain why he didn't see you? Have you spoken to him about it? You don't say. If you haven't spoken to him then maybe you both should do the MATURE thing and talk about it.
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A
female
reader, Basschick  +, writes (28 April 2012):
 What is it about this situatioin that makes you feel like a fool? Because you're hot enough to attract a young buck?....Because you're letting society dictate to you what age man you should be seeing? Because you are following your instincts and your heart? Is it because he didn't show up and somehow you think you mght have simply been a checkmark on his bucket list? Give it a few days. Guys are kind of flightly at 19. He's probably out drinking with his college buddies, bragging about scoring a cougar the other night. I think if this guy makes you happy run with it. Will you two be together in 20 years. Probably not. But that shouldn't prevent you from seeing him for now. Enjoy it as long as it lasts. And when it's over move on with grace and dignity and always remember this: You were sexy enough, hot enough, and exciting enough to attract a guy that much younger. That's something to be proud of. You are competing in a pool of very firm, young things and I'm sure he could have any of them. He chose you. Enjoy your time and quit beating yourself up.
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